Brad and I got into it for a bit tonight and I thought things would go south and we would end up having a huge argument but instead he listened to me and it ended up bringing us closer together.
Basically it started out talking about the word nigger. He said he agrees no one should use it but he also didn’t understand why black people can call each other that and it’s ok. He said “white people just aren’t as sensitive” and I flew off the handle as I am so apt to do, although in a very controlled way, I felt.
I explained that “no white people are not less sensitive, we are all human beings with the same emotional capacities but they haven’t felt such overwhelming oppression to where they have trigger words that were used against them in a derogatory fashion that they had to fight against being seen as. Cracker is hardly that.”
I equated it to women being called bitch or cunt. That while granted most women do not like to be called that, especially not by a man in a derogatory fashion when women call each other bitch in a cute fashion it is completely acceptable and the meaning changes. Would that mean that women are just more sensitive? Well. I don’t think that is true although it is an accepted belief in society but all the same the logic does not follow in that statement.
When I explained it to him and we dialogued about it intensely it all wrapped up much nicer than I have done so here. But in what was seemingly adversity lied a means to actually connect even closer, because we took the time to listen to each other and see where we came from and he understood why what he said angered me so much.
It’s hard to see things from other people’s point of view when that has never been your own view. I totally get that. All it takes is opening up our hearts to share someone else’s experiences. Maybe they are painful. In our own unique ways maybe the experience of sharing causes pain, but on the other side of pain is healing. And healing is what this world needs. It’s what we all need. Don’t we?