I know myself. I can not have straight sugar and not feel its effects. I had a super sweet muffin for breakfast and then I found a huge 2 pound box of chocolates in Brad’s car (for my b-day) and made my way through a good chunk of them and it’s now 4pm and I feel shitty as fuck.
My head is reeling. I’m exhausted and feeling very short tempered and my heart is racing. My eyes are so heavy and my mood so low. Why do I do this to myself?
So thankful I have low maintenance clients today. I think I’ll go to bed early. Kids go back to school tomorrow. I have imminent paperwork to give to the state board and am dropping off some household items to the cashier at my local fav Mexican restaurant. Her daughter just extracted herself from a toxic relationship and needed some stuff for her place. I happen to have an extra coffee table in my garage and some cute kitchen canisters. It’s a win/win.
At some point today I need to eat some real food. Wish I hadn’t forgotten my leftovers from last night in Brad’s fridge. Steak fajitas sounds so yummy right now and I hate wasting food. I’m not driving an hour for it though and I’m not making the boi bring it since he is always picking me up and dropping me off. I can’t even remember the last time I drove to his place.
I hate the effects of sugar but who doesn’t love the taste? There is a reason it is so addicting. It’s easier to stay away from it the more I stay away from it. But then I end up having dreams about eating sugar and they are so intense, just like sex dreams; so nuanced in decadence and pleasure.
I’m so tired!!! Ugghhhhh I really need to get my ass to the gym. Like seriously. The more I go to the gym the better I take care of myself. It’s a good spiral. I could use a good spiral right now.
Wishing you all a good spiral.