I miss him.
There is a Spanish song from my childhood I always liked. One of many that stayed with me and helped paint the picture of relationships for me back when I had no life experience. I’m thinking specifically of a song called Costumbre by Rocio Durcal.
It basically says that habit is stronger than love. It’s about a couple that is broken up and she says “you won’t, even if you try, forget about me” meanwhile she misses him, even though they both hate each other or don’t have love left for each other, they still miss each other because the habit and comfort of what they built together is a strong bond, stronger than love even.
Now this oversimplifies something very complex and trivializes the beautiful moments that transpired in said relationship. But…… I did put it on earlier. I keep telling myself that I have to believe there is better waiting for me out there. Someone I won’t argue with so much…..at the very least. Lol
It’s been a rough week. Emotionally. I was tempted to call or text Brad today and then my ex was here helping me with the kids and shuttling them around and two of them are sick on top of that. He showed me a picture of his sister and her on-again, off-again boyfriend with the headline “of course I said yes”. This is the man that told her she was smothering him, called her a bitch and threw her out of his house to fend for herself at 2am with no car.
She’s a gorgeous woman, maybe not the absolute smartest or most open-minded person, but also one of the most genuinely nice people I know. She is the kind of person that when she asks how you are actually wants to know and listens. She’s very thoughtful and sweet. So why is her self esteem so low that she settles for this kind of treatment? He isn’t rich. He isn’t George Clooney. Not that being these things excuses his behavior. It doesn’t. And I know that relationships take two and I know women can instigate issues but this isn’t an isolated incident. He has been very douchy with her several times before.
It makes me sad. She had another man pursuing her. A rich older man but there were “no sparks” as she said. Ok. Fine. No sparks. I get it, but these aren’t the only two men in the world. I understand. She is a Martha Stewart type. She doesn’t want to work. She had a nice divorce settlement and her parents two doors down to help with her three cute monkeys. That doesn’t impress most men nowadays.
That a woman wants to be the anchor of her household and stay home nurturing her children, husband, feeding and organizing them, the house, social events, etc. It’s almost seen as a weakness. I don’t get that at all….but I also understand the idiotic perceptions out there. I also get that it takes two or more incomes to survive nowadays.
But…….the future belongs to those that believe in the beauty of their dreams.
I’ll keep dreaming and wish her and everyone else the best with their decisions in life. They aren’t all good ones. Lol. That’s for sure.
“A man doesn’t make you strong, but a good partner can make you stronger.”- Sherlock Gnomes