If I could do it all again

If I could do the last three years over again…. I don’t think I would have gone into hydrotherapy. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love it. It is definitely a huge passion of mine. I love my clients. I love what I do. I love helping people and had I not gone this route I may have never delved into the healing part of myself. It forced my hand (so to say) and that is priceless. But……it’s been so hard. I really had no clue how hard this would be.

In retrospect it may have been more beneficial to get the mommy make-over I wanted and become a professional dominatrix. From the demand I see for that I wouldn’t be struggling as much as I am now and I would be helping a sub group of men that sometimes get taken advantage of and greatly misunderstood. And let’s not forget that I do so love subjugating and feminizing men. A job is still a job though and no matter how much you like it…. it is still work….. but that would have been pretty cool work.

But I hate the what if game….. I rarely let myself indulge in it for it’s sheer stupidity. Because while I firmly believe it should, theoretically, be just as possible to change the past as it is the future I still haven’t figured out exactly how. I’m unsure if the same dynamics apply: manifestations, prayer, affirmations, visualization, etc. That’s a blog for another day.

It just seems that given all I know about how these last few years have been, the struggle I’ve had…… that path may have been better. But I took this one for a reason and I guess my only real complaint is simply that I’m still waiting for it to get easy.

God….is that possible please? Come on….. I said please. Sugar on top. Cherry?


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

6 thoughts on “If I could do it all again”

    1. Yes. You’re right of course. I know this……..and I shouldn’t fall prey to worry. I hate worry. Ok…… yes….you’re right. Thanks for reminding me. I got this. It’s all perfectly as it should be. Focusing on the now……. “Be here now”….. I used to love that book as a teenager, carried it around me everywhere I went for a few years. Lost it. Saw it recently at a sushi restaurant. Forgot how dogmatic it was….but still good.

      One day I’ll look back at this struggle and it will all make sense……it will all make sense. So be it.



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