Scared

My first introduction to my own personal brand of clairaudience* was with Louise Hay. Frankly, I didn’t care for her**. She recorded the audio of our session on a cassette tape. I was left very confused and distressed by some things she said to me during our session. I’ve mentioned them before.

She told me I would marry a man that was completely sober. She said my daughter would be my right hand while I did talks and speeches. She said that I would help many people.

I don’t remember if I emailed or called her. I knew her background. I trusted that she knew what she was talking about but I told her with no uncertainty that I was not up to that task. Her reply completely unsettled me. She said “please go back and listen to the tapes, I did not say this to you”. To say I was completely shaken by this is an understatement. I know as well as I know my own name that I heard her words very clearly.

I didn’t listen to the tape. In fact years later when I threw it away I knew I was doing myself a huge disservice. But I simply could not explain why what I heard and what she said didn’t match. This has happened to me at least 2 more times that I an aware of; but each time it happens with complete strangers.

I’ve had instances of dejavu plenty of times with clear audio and visual. I can even pinpoint when I had the visions usually. It is always years before, but these cases were not that.

———

Today I tried something I’ve never done well before based on the suggestion of another healer. See…I’m an A type personality struggling with sluggishness. My mind wants to “go, go, go” and my body is like “hold up, settle down”. My meditations and prayers are active. Lisa (Cruise of Oneness) calms her mind to nothingness which if you’ve ever tried it is hard as fuck. But I was like ok. Let’s do this.

***I tried it this morning. I used my breath to help and at each deep exhale I literally made the shhhhhhhh sound. I could only get clarity for mere seconds at a time. But I kept trying and in that brief time, maybe 5 minutes total I was able to have a huge breakthrough. These migraines. These headaches I’ve had since being a teenager have been my powers trying to come through and me stiffling them.

That is where my visions come from, from that exact same location. It explains why in yoga I get them. I am very centered and calm there and I’ve been doing the huge error trying to get rid of them instead of allowing whatever wants to come through in. In my defense I didn’t know better.

I’m still scared. I’d be lying to say I wasn’t. But…..this is all good. This is all for my benefit and maybe hopefully to help others as well.

I just have to keep moving forward….living my truth….wacky as it is….it’s mine and I’m finally…FINALLY….owning it.

Alright….fear or not….here I am.

Ready….willing…able…

God help me!

God bless you all as well! πŸ˜‡

πŸ’–πŸŒˆπŸ™πŸ½πŸ¦‹πŸŒ·

———

*I recognize this is not real clairaudio, but I don’t have the right word for it.

**Yes I know, blasphemy. This is not to say I don’t like most of her publications. I even have her digestive health mantra in my studio. Just at that time in her life she seemed very driven by money, but what do I know. We’re talking 25 years ago here. We all gotta eat. I get it. She built an empire based on helping people. I can not baulk at that.

***I had done it before, most notably at the Buddhist retreat and while I found it mildly enjoyable I didn’t feel I got much from it. I’m not sure why honestly. So I never was inspired to keep doing it that way, when active prayer and meditation work so well for me and my personality. But

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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