It’s hard to be depressed and grateful. I tried so hard to be grateful and at each turn yesterday I was just blah. I must have ate my weight in junk food too, which never helps: muffins, fries, chocolate……
I need to go on a sugar hiatus again.
I’m not even sure why I felt grumpified yesterday exactly.
I am trying so hard to focus on the positive and be grateful for the things I have, the people I love, the benevolence I’ve been shown in life. Maybe I’m overdue for a pity party.
Yesterday was officially “Blue Monday”, maybe I can just chop it up at that and move on.
Brad comes over today to help me with the garage. It’s a purge and liquidate endeavor. I could use the money and the peace of mind and the busy work. I don’t have a single colonic client booked the rest of the month yet. These things can be a last minute thing for my chronic constipation clients but that’s still not where I want to be. Truthfully I’m not sure anymore about anything.
The healing has me stumped. 15 colonic clients a week was my goal and when I finally hit it I realized it felt a bit unrealistic to sustain. I didn’t see my kids, my back hurts, it felt more like a mill and not like specialized services. Now I see why health care can be so abysmal. But I still love what I do. I love helping people.
God will show the way. I will keep moving forward and someway, somehow….
Peace of mind
The only thing not on the list, but there by default I believe is love.
Let’s do this!!!
I feel right now I really need to zone in and focus on me. So much of what I do is always for others, which I love, which I thrive on, but right now I need to hunker down and figure this thing out. I need to focus on me. Selfish as that sounds and feels I think it’s the right thing to do. I feel in my gut it’s the right thing to focus on and sometimes that’s all I really understand in life: intuition.