I don’t know how else to explain to Brad that I need to make love. I’ve furloughed our public play until after we achieve that hoping it would incentivize him. The truth is, the longer we go without it the less and less I want to be subjected to pain. Almost like my pendulum is swinging narrower. I’m not doing it purposefully, I’m just not into it. I don’t find it all that enjoyable anymore.
But there is only so much I can do. I can’t force him to try. I can’t force him to make love to me. I can’t force him to want it. Well…..maybe I can force him to try but without knowing what’s stopping it from happening I’m not sure how we will get there. I recognize he doesn’t feel he has ever made love but he’s so close. The sentiment is there. The passion is there. The words are there, he just has to learn to translate it into touch and intention. But he goes into porn mode so quickly and don’t get me wrong….I love that…..but….I can’t keep saying it.
I NEED TO MAKE LOVE!!!!
Is this a make or break thing? Maybe. I don’t know. It hasn’t been yet, but….. I can’t forgo it forever either.
I lost my keys yesterday and I only had that one car key. I’m super bummed. I lost them in a three block trajectory from my house to the school. It was such a beautiful day we took advantage and finally took Lexi out driving in her Barbie Jeep. It was a slow journey those few blocks there since it was her first time driving and we did so on the street because we have no sidewalks here. Fortunately we have very little traffic on those side streets.
There were however lots of people out enjoying the day with us: exercising, walking dogs, etc. I’m sure someone probably picked them up. 7 keys and car fob on a big bright blue lanyard is not very subtle. I traced my steps 5 times to no avail. I made a police report. Now I have to see about a car key replacement. I wonder if maybe I can find a locksmith willing to barter services. It’s worth a shot.
Brad lent me his car which I didn’t want to take but he said “you have 3 kids you can not be without a car”. I thought it was sweet. He is going to go to pick-a-part and see if he can find other Honda keys and fobs. Fingers crossed.
If it isn’t one thing……🤦🏽♀️😒
Such is life. 🤪