Scattered thoughts on Femdom

I love WordPress author Fursissy. He gets femdom on levels I can’t even explain. He clarifies me to me in ways that almost bring me to tears. Like a great psychologist that brings you deep relief when they see who you really are and show you a depth of understanding, acceptance and appreciation that validates your entire being.

Yep. He knows that much! He could probably make a living counseling and guiding Domme’s and subs….were there a market for such a thing. He would be an excellent author on a difinitive book on the subject…. probably more like an encyclopedia. His knowledge is truly that vast. So this last blog of his got me to thinking.

What kind of Domme am I? Here are excerpts from his blog I will capture and comment to…. For my own edification.

“Some live to wield control. Some want to have control but never/rarely want to have to exercise it.”

Of course I want both. I want to know that what I say is rule, but I don’t want to be a constant dictator. I want symbiotic happiness. If I say turn left at the next corner or you need to modify this behavior slightly it must be done and done happily in the same spirit that I care for your needs. Bliss is the destination and journey, not misery. I don’t yield control just for it’s own sake…..outside of kink play. 😏

“Some want to mix D/s and love. Some want to keep BDSM completely formal or casual.”

I of course want the former. Relationships mean nothing without true depth of emotion mixed in.

“Some want a man that they can psychologically crush and stifle. Some want a man that they respect and will treat as a (nearly) equal partner.”

Again I want both. A man that will take the brunt of my pushing him to expand and contract for me as I need and a man of courage, honor, grace and intelligence that I can look up to as I shackle him to the bed. 😝

“Some want a man that will become completely dependent upon them for validation. Some want a man that needs no external validation at all.”

This one is tricky. I want a man that needs almost no external validation for his internal happiness and peace of mind but that is completely dependant on me emotionally….a co-dependancy to the upteenth level. Where my very happiness ensures their own. Where my love validates their existence. Where my affection and touch brings them to their knees with lust and desire. Where their need for me is an intense desperation nothing else and no one else will quench.

“Some want subs that are completely self-motivated. Some want to provide continuous motivation for their subs.”

Here I want follow through. I can provide motivation but I prefer to provide guidance as needed and then have complete follow through on that guidance. So the motivation to please must be very high.

“Some want to have a lifestyle full of kink. Some want to have no kink at all and simply maintain power exchange.”

OMG. Who wants no kink? I can’t even imagine that. Seriously I can’t.

If your into Femdom and you aren’t following Fursissy you’re truly missing out. Thanks again my sweet friend. πŸ’–πŸ’‹

https://wp.me/p8tuut-1iL

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

5 thoughts on “Scattered thoughts on Femdom”

  1. Thank you for the kind words, PG. I am very glad that I have been able to touch your life. Knowing that helps to validate me.

    Something I will note is that in that post I specifically chose contrasting examples that fall along the extreme ends of the spectrum on each theme. I believe most people fall somewhere in between the two, or have times when either of them are applicable to them.

    Over the past few years or so, I have come across an increasingly large number of people that choose to define their D/s philosophies in a very rigid way. I’m glad that you are seeing the gray areas as well as situations where you can be both. I like to believe that I am both a capable and competent human at times and an obedient and enslaved submissive man at other times and so many of the either/or statements end up being “both” for me as well.

    As for the people who want no kink, they are out there. Some will even get mad if you imply that D/s (or whatever term they are using for it) is inherently sexual.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well. People love getting their feathers ruffled and pluming their misdirected rage. & Domme’s can be rather self-righteous too. Lol

      You absolutely deserve your validation. Everything I said was accurate.

      I’m glad I’m not the only one that vacilates. There are very few things in life that are truly black and white for me and a lot of this must be individualized. Every relationship is different, but it’s good to know your own set point.

      Over my lifetime I have melded myself to be who I needed to be to survive and this variation of me might also be a version of that and I just can’t see it clearly right now…..but to me Femdom feels like “my truth set free” and I’m happy there are people in this world like you that provide truth, knowledge, guidance and constructive nudges with kindness and grace.

      You are loved and appreciated. πŸ’‹πŸ’–

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, PG.

        I will try to understand how someone reaches their philosophy, especially when it’s someone who takes a fairly strong stance upon something. People being willing to share that is becoming ever rarer.

        I think people having multiple facets that they move between is the norm. In D/s I believe it’s a huge fallacy when people think that a dominant is supposed to be dominant all the time and that a sub is supposed to be submissive all the time. We’re all people with strengths and weaknesses, hopes and fears, and the like. To be one way is strange, especially when a role requires balance. e.g. a good dominant is compassionate, thoughtful, and caring. A good submissive is focused, attentive to detail, and self-motivated. When someone mentions “dominant” or “submissive,” those characteristics are rarely the things that come to mind.

        I’m glad you have found your truth πŸ™‚

        Hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

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