Embrace it/mentor, sleep better, glory hole

Long boring ruminations. You’ve been warned. Lol

That verbage”embrace it” keeps coming up in my current journey. Luckily it not only reinforces my beliefs it also gives me great comfort. Maybe in that…. I have known about this my entire life…it has been waiting for me….and now is the time to fully embrace it. On that same note…I think it’s a good time for a mentor. I think I am pretty clear on who I am and I need someone that understands what I am capable of and can help guide me.

I like Pranic Healing in the fact that it safeguards the healer. I did not care for their lesson on Karma. It is my absolute firm belief from my own direct experience as well as other teachings that we can get off the karmic hamster wheel, but that’s a different discussion.

I liked the instructor very much and I want to reconnect for sure. We shall see. Maybe she can suggest a mentor. She made a good point that some students are habitual lookie-loo’s, never bonding to any one modality. My stance is that this journey has to be tailored to my spiritual needs and I will not waiver from where my heart and spirit guide me and what they believe to be true.

It all can feel a bit overwhelmingly complicated so living moment to moment helps. Takes the strain off trying to forsee how it must go and just let’s it go how it’s meant to. I’m here for the ride. Tally ho

—–

Today I remembered that an eBay buyer gave me their shipping number so they could save some money. I told them to let me know the product arrived safely and I would credit them the shipping they had already paid me. This was before Christmas and I have not heard from them. I owe them upwards of $100. So now I must take the time to ask them about the package and return their money if all is well. Honestly, this doesn’t have a lot to do with Karma. I just sleep better at night doing what I believe to be the right thing. There is the caveat.

What I believe to be the right thing may or may not be the legal, religious, moral, common or the logical way… it is what my heart dictates for me to be able to sleep with a clear conscience. Now fortunately these all mostly seem to align by coincidence anyway.

I’m truly grateful that I’ve been very fortunate in life in that when I’ve had to accept culpability the price I’ve paid has been generally pretty negligible. The three (yes 3) times I’ve hit parked cars and left a note with an apology and my #, I’ve not received a call.

Honestly I like sleeping and I like sleeping well. I love waking up refreshed and ready for a new day. So a lot of what I do is just about that. Lol. Not to say I always do the right thing, but I try. I’m no different than anyone else. Sometimes difficulties arise. I figure if I’m trying my best that’s all that can be asked of me. Some days my best looks a lot like not much at all. I’m not here trying to win any contests.

I have nothing to prove. My best doesn’t have to look like anything more than whatever it is. I don’t need to push myself always….I just need to sometimes allow it to be what it is. Sometimes that’s better than anything I could have even imagined and sometimes it’s not. Life is curiously funny that way.

——

Brad wants to go to a glory hole this weekend. It skirts the exhibitionist line I didn’t want to cross until we made love, but we’ll put in a session of trying and I’ll give him a bone. Lol

I am not sure how to tackle this one. I’ve gone once before and it was fun but I went with male friend in the role of a sub or vanilla and I gave a minute hand job to a stranger. I’ll retell that story to you all one day.

In this case I think I want either Brad to suck a cock or someone to suck his cock which puts me in more of Domme role. Do I dress up? I do so enjoy doing that and haven’t in a long time. My wig is feeling very neglected.

I want to at least get a handle on my own persona before we go….get into my role. From there we can just see what happens. He says there is one near his house he has never been to. I joked and told him they probably know him by name like Norm in Cheers. Hope it’s clean. I’ve been going to these places since I was 18. Luckily they are a lot more girl friendly than they used to be. Read: clean, bright, professional. Lol

I’m kind of excited. Gotta go. Client soon. πŸ’‹πŸ’–

Cat Stevens – if you want to sing out

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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