Last year at this exact time of year I was just wrapping up a mad dating spree. The holidays have a way of making someone single feel lonely and I was no exception to that. So while the kids were on holiday break I went on about 12 dates. The kids barely complained. They would ask how it went when they were midly curious. The holidays ended uneventfully… In that regard.
This year I tried to take advantage and spend a little bit more time with Brad than I would normally. So instead of seeing him one or two times a week it was three times, with maybe two overnights. We tried to incorporate the kiddo’s, but mostly not……and I’m sure you can guess at why. Lol
Unfortunately though, it isn’t just the kids complaining this time. It’s the ex. He sent me this text this morning.
I get it.
He didn’t complain much last year either. I’m guessing because I was still sleeping with him. Brad has put a moratorium on that though. His current stance is “he can only fuck you in the ass or I have to be there”. He knows I’m honest but that’s a strange thing to insist on, and how can he or I enforce it. Best to just abstain and for now my ex seems otherwise entertained and hasn’t been bothering me too much about it.
I recognize it’s not about the time I’m spending with Brad as much as the love I’m sharing with him. The fact that this is becoming a serious thing and not just a frivolous time-suck is the sticking point.
I love my bratlets. There is nothing in the world I would not give or sacrifice for them, but they do not get to dictate my love life. If their objection was for Brad specifically then I would revisit that stance and troubleshoot as needed.
Marriage is hard and relatively boring. Providing stability for kids while maintaining a household and all the things this involves doesn’t leave a lot of time or energy on the table for a couple, let alone time for self care. It’s truly amazing marriages survive let alone thrive, but the alternative is generally much worse for everyone. I offer no solutions here, just observations. I wish my marriage could have survived, but that’s a story for the book I’ll eventually write. Lol
Meanwhile, Brad has added so much dimension and happiness to my life…that it’s hard to be nostalgic for something that was detrimental to begin with.
I have no idea where I’m going with this. Just like I have no real idea where I’m going in life. I wake up each day just happy to be here and if I can keep feeling that every single day that will be enough. That will truly be enough.
Wishing you inner peace. 💖🙏🏽💋