I orgasmed finally. Yippee-kay-yay!!!
I feel normal again. It’s like a pressure cooker situation where the release brings me back to a static base. I can breath. Things don’t aggravated me as easily. This works in Brad’s favor. Lol. Yesterday pre-orgasm we got in a huge fight. He screamed at me. I was on the verge of crying but I didn’t let myself.
He begged for forgiveness afterwards and it wasn’t that he asked but what he said that allowed me to forgive him. He told me what he saw. He told me how his actions affected me and how it tore him up inside seeing me suffer so deeply. He told me the story and relayed the emotion. He was completely accurate in his assessment of my inner turmoil and how his actions affected me. We even went over the whole thing once we both calmed down some.
Still not sure how to avert it from happening again…..but more orgasms wouldn’t be a bad start.
He did this thing last night when he was half erect and he had my legs up and I can’t say exactly what it was he was doing but I was quivering and panting with pleasure. Interestingly I was not even close to orgasm. It wasn’t building up tension. It was just intense pleasure. I didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t care that it wasn’t leading anywhere. It felt so damn good. This was a first. We’ll have to discuss and maybe diagram what that was because it MUST be repeated.
Then we invented a new game. He held my breast and with every intonation of his voice he squeezed them. Think of those motion dolls that dance to music except this was his hand on my boob. Then I did the same with his balls. I made up a story and everytime it got intense I would squeeze hard. We were laughing so hard….. well…. I was… and he was too in between sqeels of pain.
I think I’m realizing that when we argue it’s not always about whatever we happen to be heated about. It’s about more or even less sometimes. Sooo why take it all so seriously? We aren’t talking about life or death issues. We aren’t talking about issues that can have consequences if not settled correctly.
That said, we do have to learn to navigate each other better. I absolutely won’t take any more occurrences like last night. Heated arguments truly aren’t my thing. I got over the desire for passionate soap opera type fights in my 20’s. Now I just want to be happy. I just want ease. I just want spectacular orgasms. Doesn’t seem much to ask for. Right?
After the last blog entry Brad said he was absolutely going to stop reading this. Lol. I believe his intention but I question his resolve. Guess we’ll see.
I’m busy still trying to find a naturopath to work with me. It’s not about money. I know it could potentially be very financially lucrative, but like all things in life…I just want a good fit. I want someone that sees my vision and understands my ideology.
Yesterday I saw a client that I’ve seen for a while. He has lime disease and is doing an intense IV protocol. I have always suspected Lime was parasitic. Sure enough. Even though I’ve seen him for months I finally saw parasites coming out of him. It was a bittersweet sight. Then he tells me his wife has SIBO which I also suspect to be parasitic and would make sense since they cohabitate.
I need to find either a green naturopath that is open to believing that degenerative diseases are parasite driven or a learned naturopath willing to move into parasite killing protocols. I don’t want to even entertain the idea of having to entice someone financially. That would run completely against my heart.
Yes. We all have to live. We all have to eat and make a living. But I ABSOLUTELY refuse to do it off the backs of people, especially people desperately wanting health issues resolved.
I myself was there not that long ago. I was so sick suicide seemed almost a welcome and acceptable solution. So if anyone gets it…I do. Which is why I am desperate to bring this healing to others. If people could see and experience what I saw they’d understand. It’s scary and hard and amazing… all at the same time. It’s nothing like Western medicine. So I get that it’s hard for people to wrap their heads around. 15 years ago I would be holding a pitch fork too. Lol. No. I wouldn’t. But I get it. Changing paradigms is not easy.
But I can’t sit on the sidelines. I just can’t. I’m hoping once I get up and running, being able to offer a modified version of the Gerson Therapy for people that need to work and have a semblance of a life that Brad will join me. All I can do is offer. It’s not something I would ever force on anyone. Part of healing is wanting it and it’s not exactly easy. Sooo… he will need to decide for himself.
God will open a path…..I have faith. And if not this path… then something else. I have to believe….like the reiki healer said “this or better”. I leave it all in much better hands than mine. I will just keep moving ahead. This is where I need to be…. right? If not why would I be here? 😘💋💖