Is it naptime? I’m a bit tired and just so glad this day has come and soon will be gone.
Finished Elf and Christmas with the Kranks. Gonna start dinner soon. Tri-tip, mashed potatoes, roasted brussel sprouts, stuffing (dont ask, just craving it), homemade cornbread and chocolate cake.
Hoping for Christmas sex later. Fingers crossed. Ever since Brad installed the grading system for my orgasms he has been striving and hitting top marks; high 8’s and 9’s. Woot woot!! It makes me really look forward to sex….more than before. Which is hard for me to even believe.
And there are still a bunch of gifts under the tree from him to me that I plan to open when he gets here. I can honestly say I have never had so many gifts under the Christmas Tree before. Growing up my mom I always had very lean holidays and the one time my mom did go a bit overbaord we had a break-in and all the gifts got stolen.
I’ve never had any partner that was good at buying me gifts. Brad is breaking that pattern. I hope he is breaking many more. I was almost afraid he wouldn’t come today. I know he is a little anxious about it and he wasn’t feeling well this morning. He has so many health issues. It used to worry me but now it just makes me sad. I care for him so much and I wish he would commit to doing the Gerson Therapy with me. I hope to have that up and going by February. He hasn’t said he would. Maybe he won’t. It might be a sticking point.
I can see myself being resentful. There is a huge divide between our lifestyles as it is; which worries me. Let alone how drastic things will be when I start the therapy again. It’s so involved and life altering. Knowing what’s in store I have no issue with it but coming from a different world like he is….well. Let’s see how it goes.
I haven’t talked to anyone today except my dad. It’s a bittersweet thing. I don’t feel social. I don’t feel like reaching out to anyone. I guess after too many years of this people have stopped reaching out to me. And add to that the divorce which made people unsure which one of us to support and how. It all makes perfect sense. Logical. Still hurts a tiny little bit. Not enough to keep dwelling on it though Dinner wont make itself. 🤪
Wishing you a very sweet and merry Christmas day. 🎄☃️❄️