I hate to say it; only because some people look at you as if you were an alien out killing puppies with fresh blood dripping from your fangs.
I was tired of the same old same old. One administration pushes a bit left. The next pushes a bit right. Things pretty much stay the same. The deficit keeps growing. We are still in combat sending kids home in coffins. Corporate greed keeps expanding its territory. Our freedoms keep getting trampled on in the name of “patriotism” and “the better good” and “policing those people”.
I think Trump through no fault of his own has brought things to light that needed to be lit: voting issues, inherent misogyny and racism within our systems, government and people, the falsity of media coverage, and more. So do I think he is doing a good job? Well. I can’t say now. Ask me in 20 years. As of now, I see him as a rich, bullying asshole that does not have the countries true interest but only his own at heart with limited knowledge of world politics and even our own policies and government workings. Is that necessarily bad? Maybe not. Maybe he’ll do more good than he even knows. Like a bumbling idiot TV character; but I can’t say for sure. So far I am not impressed really; but hey it’s a fun show and it’s getting people involved and talking and that’s a great thing!!
Plus any man that can get me to wish for Bush junior back in office sure does merit some award. Lol. But I’m really hoping more good than bad comes from this saga. If anything things are getting stirred up and that I do like. I like for people to be pushed beyond their level of comfort and see other people’s realities. I like to think we can bridge gaps better this way but this just may be my naïveté talking. Who knows?
When net neutrality got put on the ballot the first time I was one of the people calling the fcc; voicing my complaints against letting the government and corporations have control of not only what we see but how it gets seen. It’s a confusing subject but basically it gives them power and control over not only content and advertising, but also speeds and access. This makes me more and more want to jump on the dark web and I don’t even want to do anything illegal. I just don’t want to have all my data and searches saved for advertisers pleasure and government oversight.
I don’t want my searches to be blocked in the sake of the “greater good”. Sure now they are trying to come for societies “bottom feeders” and restrict them but who is next? I say let it ALL be out there. I would rather look at the whole truth in all its ugly splendor than have some else’s version of the truth curated for me in a more palatable and consumer driven way.
They’ve already come out against the far right and people concede to it because why? It’s dangerous? When it incites hatred and anger I suppose it can be seen that way; but I’d rather know than not know what people think and feel. All this truly does is drive it into the shadows. I don’t see the benefit there. The people that believe and want to see things this way will go looking wherever they have to.
And then there are things like this. Even if you don’t believe in this point of view ask yourself “who is next?”.
Brad and I have been struggling. The worst part of this is that I truly do care for the schmuck. I really do love him. So why do we bicker so much? I’m conflicted and I really don’t want this blog to center on relationship drama; which is why I’ve abstained from discussing a lot of our non-sexual dalliances on here; both the really good and the bad and have just given general glimpses of the things I’ve wanted to share.
He is a really good guy. He has a very good heart and he is soooo hyper-intelligent. I am amazed at how his mind processes things. Far superior to me in so many ways and yet……. there is a lot of friction between how we both navigate life and how different we see things. Ugghhhhh
Sometimes part of me wants to have complete and total control over him and then others I’m like “I’m fucking exhausted, do I really need another project?”. It’s not quite so cut and dry and simplistic but these are the extremes of it. Last night as we laid in bed he held me in his arms and told me “everything is going to be alright” and I melted like a little girl into his arms and felt the world was absolutely perfect in that moment and today I’ve asked him to order us matching butt plugs from Geek. Lol.
Life is too crazy to live in absolutes. I have no idea what is going to happen. I don’t need my life to be more complicated is all I’ve said from the very beginning. But maybe I need to take my own advice here. I need to just allow the space for ease and take many more deep breaths. Stop overthinking it all. Allow that whatever is happening now is meant to happen or it wouldn’t be happening and then live within the happiness that is available in this moment.
I sometimes hum when I’m doing chores. I tell the kids “if you have to do something do it with a happy heart”. Do your best and do it lovingly; because why not? If you have to do it anyway you may as well find the joy in it. It’s there somewhere!! Maybe this is why people turn so easily to drugs, corruption, violence, anger, hatred and greed. It’s an easy way to find joy. Finding inner happiness takes work sometimes unfortunately.
It does for me at least. So hey….. I’ll take all the help I can get there. It all counts. It all matters. Like Cheri Huber says “How you do one thing, is how you do all things”. If people lived by this motto the world would be a magical place.
But what do I know? Really though… when it comes down to it; I’m just happy to be here. I hope I can say that for 60 years more. That is the true testimant to a good life I think. Living your life so that when the time comes; whenever that may be…. wherever that may take you…. you’re like “yep….It’s A-O.K.”
See you later and thanks for all the fish. 💋❤️💋