When you come from an abusive background (childhood) whether that be physical, emotional or sexual it’s hard to know what healthy boundaries are.
A police detective that handled abuse cases for over 20 years told me a story of a young lady who filed rape charges against a man and they could not prosecute the man because of her behavior.
It turns out she went on a date with this guy and they went back to one of their places. He persuaded her to lay in bed with him. Kept telling her nothing would happen; he just wanted to lay with her. Then he persuaded her to get naked, but again with the stipulation that nothing was going to happen sexually. Then once they were both naked he raped her.
It almost sounds unbelievable; but I get it completely. This girl had no idea where her boundaries were let alone what healthy ones look like or how to enforce those.
She came from abuse and was drawing it to herself because she had not repaired the damage to her psyche and just let the pattern keep repeating. At what point is it her fault vs his fault? I’m not the one to answer that question.
All I know is that no one is responsible for someone else’s actions. I try so much to help people navigate their digestive (health) issues; but I so often feel like even though I’ve led them to an oasis of water I can’t make them drink it. Conversely you can entice someone into a negative behavior but ultimately their behavior is their own responsibility. Seems cut and dry to me but it isn’t that simple. Nothing ever is.