I contacted sweet Johnny to see if he wanted to have dinner with Brad and I and possibly play. Based of course around his parameters as his comfort level. He has no pain tolerance so I was very clear with Brad that he was not to be hurt or treated roughly. Yes he likes ass play, yes he has played with men, but everyone and every situation is different and Johnny is very sweet, delicate and almost feminine and childlike in his energy….. if that makes sense. I think of him often and his sweet daily texts and always checking in.
The last time we hung out was a bit sad. I think he could sense things were not going to progress with us much further. I’m not sure if it was his age, his unhealthy lifestyle (living off power drinks and cigarettes), his messy & slightly uncomfortable house, or a combination thereof. I can’t say…. but there was a disconnect and as enchanting as he is I couldn’t get past it…. but that doesn’t mean I don’t think he is wonderful because I truly do.
Then I told my ex I’m going to stop sleeping with him when Brad gets back this weekend. While I’ve said it before; that was when I was single and not getting consistent sex or attention, affection and touch. So it was easier for me to fall back and I didn’t have the support and help to think I could make it without him. But my business is starting to blossom and Brad offers me a lot of affection, attention, sex and support. Plus I’ve been told by several psychologists that it puts the children and I in danger to keep sleeping with him. I’m not sure I understand exactly how, as I see it being the opposite.
But it just gets confusing for everyone and I like things a lot more cut and dry. Brad keeps wanting him to join us in whatever capacity he wants…. but it isn’t in him and I can’t see it ever happening. So. Finito. One door opens and one door closes. Maybe. It’s thrilling. So very thrilling. Either way.