Sadistic little girl

What makes people sadistic? Trauma. Horrible tragedy maybe. Lack of empathy. Pain. Anger. These are all suppositions. I can only speak for myself really and I say it’s super fun, mildly cathartic and sexy as hell.

Brad is coming over for a few hours tomorrow morning to let me be as sadistic as I want with him. He wants me to push him hard and not stop until I am completely satisfied; no matter how much he protests. You can’t see the wicked smile on my face but rest assured it is there. I can not wait!!!! I’m more looking forward to that then having sex and because I was out of town a few days we are far behind what was becoming our standard 3-4 days a week routine. This cross of mine may yet see some tears.

Then this weekend we will be renting a room at a not terribly seedy motel nearish to the venue of the band I want to go see. I’m glad I’ll be drinking that night because he has said he wants to be in control. He says he will take several viagra and make me cum repeatedly. We shall see. In the past he has proven himself to be his own brand of sadistic and not so much focused on my orgasms.

Will that make me show some restraint tomorrow? Knowing he has the chance for full retaliation? Nope. Not at all. I like playing hard. I get to do exactly what I want. Why shouldn’t he be afforded the same luxury…. once in a while? Lol. I may be getting further and further away from wanting to be submissive, but until I make up my mind definitively (which I haven’t yet) I’ll gladly give him the gift of my full submission.

I did sense when he casually stopped calling me Master that he was reserving that for himself. I sent him this earlier when he was talking about it being my turn to submit. But rest assured…. tomorrow I will be the Master and he WILL be calling me that. As I’ve said before I really don’t like the Mistress name thing. Just reminds me of an old school marm or a mistress (as in fidelity). 🤢

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

12 thoughts on “Sadistic little girl”

    1. Well. I love emotionally intense experiences. (Although I hate horror movies and rollercoasters.)

      Sex and sadism: pleasure and pain. When you push or get pushed to your limits and realize how maleable those are. How yummy it is. When you intertwine them and confuse them and then go to an intensity that makes you scream, cry, fill with terror. (With someone you trust and safewords of course.)

      Taken to that depth. The level of emotion and the connection; the intimacy. It’s exhilarating and intoxicating and liberating.

      And then you top it all off with loving aftercare. OMG.


      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks. I think I understand the receiving pain part and sometimes welcome that myself but I guess I don’t have the mean gene or the need/desire/etc. to inflict pain. So I have a bit of a harder time understanding the connection there.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes. A lot of people seem hard wired for one or the other. Switches enjoy both which is what I’ve most closely identified with if I had to label myself.

        You do you. Surrender/submission is a beautiful gift and I hope you find a lovely Domme or FLR to fulfill that desire for you.

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Oh and thank you. I love in a world where I feel few people really understand me. It’s fine. I don’t need the approval of he world. But it’s nice to have people that enjoy and appreciate my little fishbowl. 💋❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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