I got a prank call today. She sounded like a teenager that should have been in school. I played along until she got bored and figured I was really dense at not picking up on all the giggling her and her entourage were trying to loosely hold back and hung up on me. People still do that? Made me smile and roll my eyes remembering my own idiotic teenage antics.
I went to see Alanis perform acoustic last night. I was impressed at all the men and even single men there. Some very young. Maybe gay. Who knows or cares really; just interesting. One man was very into it. I could tell “Jagged Little Pill” had been an anthem album to his decade as well. She mumbled and moved her powerhouse voice away from the mike quite a bit so I was glad she only played two songs I was not familiar with because I couldn’t follow the lyrics I didn’t know.
I had a friend recently recommend a dating site for people that seek financial arrangements. She told me it was very easy and works well. I guess there are men out there that are willing as Charlie Sheen puts it “to pay for women to leave”. I’ve never had that problem* but I can see the benefits of such an arrangement.
For starters I rather like simple, cut and dry expectations. An easy contractual-like tit for tat arrangement is practical. Then too for me personally I think it would make sense. For starters because I have severe PTSD about having men around my kiddo’s. Any man really….. let alone giving one potentially intimate access to them (vis-à-vis: under the same roof).
Secondly, well…. it would ensure to keep the breakers on. No one can get too carried away. It’s a predefined limited situation… not to say it can’t be long term, intimate and monogamous. Who knows? And then of course let’s not forget the mutual benefits. I wonder if it would still include power exchanges. I do so love them. Lol
It is completely and totally irrelevant right now as Brad and I are back on. In fact when I told him what she told me he absolutely flipped out. I always forget to hold back information that could be construed as threatening. I was just sharing. I don’t have a good filter for these things though and tend to way overshare…. if you all haven’t already noticed.
And, of course, he took all this as an afront. She only told me to try to assuage my financial stress load. Like “hey…. here’s another possible option if things don’t pan out”. Not that Brad is being seen as a mealticket mind you.
I think I’ve been clear that to date I’ve never made money a priority or gotten paid for sex/companionship. I’ve dated a homeless man and turned down dates with millionaires. So if that doesn’t say something I’m not sure what would. Money and financial security are obviously important but it’s not even in the top 5 for me. Mutual genuine love and respect, adoration, passion, trust, fun, laughter and connection, intimacy, friendship and truly enjoying each other’s company….. now that’s as Spiral Artist say “The Bee’s Knees”.
But this also isn’t something I haven’t previously considered. In my defense, I haven’t had things very easy. I was given intelligence but I was not given an easy trajectory. I was given a horribly abusive and unstable childhood. Adults that completely disregarded my emotional, physical and mental well being, but did feed, cloth and shelter me….and truthfully I’m not blaming them or anyone else.
These people in my life all did the best they could. The best they wanted to at least. They mostly tried. My mother did at least. Lol. Hey….I’m a grown adult now. I have my own kids and issues. I’m not trying to cut anyone down. I know how hard this living thing gets.
I’ve been on my own own since I was 17. I did manage to put myself through community college while working 40-50 hour weeks in my 20’s. I remember falling asleep in some classes. I got 2 classes away from an associates and quit. Boys were always too much of a distraction.
Then marriage and kids and divorce and here we are. Parents that have their own priorities; my father on fiancé #4 who is younger and prettier than me, and also a Hawaiian dance instructor. My mother retired and struggling with her health while trying to travel as much as possible to get away from her boyfriend of 35 years who she has a strange plutonic co-dependent thing going with.
No one else on my side really. One half sibling I know little about and very few friends. Which could be good or bad I suppose. I don’t see it as either. Just what is. That’s what it is.
I guess there’s nothing left to do but keep going. One foot in front of the other…. arms open. Trying to pull this heart out of the rubble. Okay life. Here goes another day.
*in that I’m very fortunate that men enjoy and want my company beyond just sex that is.