Stay focused, stay positive, stay present and…

if none of that is possible just breath deeply. Lol. That’s my mantra right now.

So many projects. So many emotions and as always some issues. My worst one currently is that my computer keeps crashing after about 5 minutes of use and I depend on that computer for at least half my income right now and I’m one of those idiots who hasn’t backed it up in over a year. Ugghh. Yea. Not good!

A life free of issues must be a life that floats so quickly and effortlessly that it must feel like a blip. My life is definitely no blip. But everything has its pluses and minuses as I always tell anyone who will listen and in the grand scheme of things will any of these stressors in my life be a real make or break? Maybe…. actually…. but hey….. refer back to mantra. Right? Lol


I’m thinking of trying my hand at being a Pro Domme again. I’ve reached out to a local sex club about renting their space and if we can negotiate a reasonable rate I will reach out to a few men that have expressed interest in being Domme’d and see if they would want an hour or so for a fee.

I figure even if I only get a few takers it would be well worth the endeavor and lots of fun. After all I love dressing up and I absolutely love pretending…. not to be a Domme. That I am. I love pretending to be someone’s fantasy come to life; I relish fulfilling a dream.

We’ll see if it works out though. Right now I’m not about forcing anything. I’m about just letting things happen and going with the flow. If the flow is uphill so be it. If the flow is downhill…let’s go.

On another note.

I was thinking of this in the shower the other morning after a fun night with Brad. We have sex an average of about 6 times when we get together. Some of those times… like when he wakes me in the early morning or middle of the night and I am in a sleepy haze I am far from ready to go.

I mention this because I am never sore the next day. I mean sure I have body aches most times just from all the acrobatics and exercise we are getting, but I am never painfully sore. While with other men even with just one go I have been painfully tender and sore the next day. So much so that there is no way I could go again that day…. yet this is never the case with him.

I have no idea why this is because as I’ve mentioned he is leaps and bounds bigger than any man I’ve ever been with before. It’s intriguing to me. It can’t possibly be psychological. Can it? There must be an ergonomic thing happening. I can’t pinpoint it exactly.

It’s not like I can watch the playbacks and zero in on it. That would be funny though. Stop the feed, zoom in, take notes. Speaking of…. Brad says he wants to tape us. It’s an enticing thought. Not one I really want to do right now though; to many maybe if‘s.

He has already taken many pictures, which I wasn’t quite sure about initially but then started to actually enjoy looking at. He gives me full veto power or rather he lets me immediately delete whatever I don’t like. Which of course is the control I need to be okay with it in the first place.

We’ll see. We’ve been crossing stuff off my sexual bucket list at a slow but steady clip. I’ve given him a golden shower. He has tied up my breasts and actually made them look rather sexy. I have done things to his cock and balls that I think most men might faint just from watching. Lol. It’s been so much fun!!!!

But nothing is perfect. We are two very imperfect middle aged adults with baggage; each with our own unique and not easy issues and circumstances and trying to bridge our gaps may be a challenge….. but the magnetic pull between us can not be ignored. The comfort and ease with each other can not be faked. The orgasms he gives me….. mmmmm….well…… they are noteworthy.

So we shall see. We shall see.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

4 thoughts on “Stay focused, stay positive, stay present and…”

  1. Being a pro dome sounds like a fantasy in itself – have fun 🙂
    How did the golden shower go? did you\he like it more than expected, or less?
    Today marks our 5th anniversary of my first golden shower from my wife. 🙂 It is exciting for me and she likes the feel of power.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My wife also likes the way I react to her peeing on me. I guess you cant help but feel a bit of power by making a cock go erect. 🙂 She also likes that I worship everything about her. Maybe you can do it next time in a way that you feel your marking your territory.


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