“Run” – Awolnation

This journey into this lifestyle has brought me face to face with a lot of truths.

I can’t say how or why but it’s allowed me to see behind some of the masks we wear.

To see people for who they are. I’ve been allowed the privilege and honor.

It doesn’t disturb or scare me.

The truth can only be what it is.

And the truth is…..

Some people are damaged. Truly damaged.

Some people feel they are monsters inside.

Some people have zero self love.

Some people have been severely broken.

And my heart bleeds for them.

Because I can see that they are just human

But these are people so lost

So destroyed

They can’t even identify anymore

As anything beyond parasitic inside

And it makes me so sad

because I’ve never met anyone I didn’t see a glimmer of love inside

———

“my name is human” – Highly Suspect

———

We are all too complex to be just one thing. I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit in either direction.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

46 thoughts on ““Run” – Awolnation”

    1. “Hauntingly beautiful” – is a touching compliment. Thank you. It’s funny you say that because I’ve thought of trying an open mic night. Not sure if I want to do comedy or read one of my blogs. If I ever get the courage I’ll let you know. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Once you get over the initial fear you can actually feed off the energy of the crowd. It can be quite intoxicating.

        You aren’t at Jim Morrison status. Sadly. Few of us are. Lol

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s an interesting perspective–I never
        thought of performance in that fashion.

        Maybe I could write a piece that begins with me fainting and ends with me yelling at the crowd–incorporating my fear and anger.

        Thank you for your critiques and recommendations. I hope you’ll check out my other pieces.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Allow I to flow. Don’t worry about syntax or formatting or comprehension or flow. Just get it out. Even if you don’t publish it. I probably have over 50 blogs I haven’t posted. It just feels good to get it out.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. It’s beautiful Mistress. We are spiritual beings living a unique human experience. It amazes me all the time how very unique each of us are. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually unique. No wonder it is so difficult to find my One true love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I sometimes think Greggy that it isn’t as hard as we play it out to be. That the inly thing in our way is ourselves. All these personas we think we are. All the things we think we “deserve” or think we want. When really all we truly want is to be loved and understood…. and that isn’t that hard to find. Lol

      But what do I know. I haven’t gotten it right yet. Lol

      Like

  2. I agree Mistress. My life is only as hard as I make it. All of my misery is self induced. I also know that although I don’t always get what I want in this life, I do seem to be getting what I need.
    I do like Your wish for a love like no other,
    Do I need that or want it?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi porn3, great post!

    I guess amidst all the destruction and brokeness, we just have to stop and take a deep breath. We have to realize that the moment we said to ourselves that we can’t take it anymore is the moment the we realize our worth. That either we climb up for some air from the metaphorical hole we dug ourselves into or dig deeper until we struck gold. Love yourself so much to the point that others will love you for being you.

    The strong ones always comes from the most broken of places.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Maybe not now, but when they do.
        They will be a bit stronger than what they used to be =)

        Not that I’m being so overtly optimistic, i just think the we human beings are not meant to just breath.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol. “Just breath”. Seems to be the anthem of the times. It’s an easy way to get out of our own heads and into our bodies. Into the moment and away from whatever is plaguing us.

        May I ask what you feel we are meant to do/be/feel/achieve? Just curious now that I caught you in an optimistic mood.

        Like

      3. I just feel that we are meant to be more. I know that life is really tough, each has it’s own war to win. But we must not let our previous losses define the outcome of our current battles.
        I just feel that there is a lesson to be learned in everything and being able to see yourself with love, is worthy enough to give ourselves hope =)

        Liked by 1 person

      4. So true…. but self love is in short supply in a world that seems hell bent on destroying it. If not actively destroying it most definitely doesn’t seem set up to foster it.

        Like

      5. I agree, we’ve become so obsessed in wanting the affection of others than we’ve forgotten that in order for others to love us we must first learn to love ourselves. How can we acquire the attention of others if we cannot give our attention to our wants, to our needs.

        I’d think that by genuinely loving ourselves we attract the right kind of people =)

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I wish that were entirely true. I used to think so but I’m not so sure anymore.

        Our past. Our psyche. Our childhood. These things affect us on a fundamental level that we don’t comprehend or acknowledge. Even the most self-aware can be oblivious to it.

        I’ve been in 2 years of serious therapy and he beat I can say is that I know myself and for the most part I love myself and I try to have compassion for the rest.
        In this turmoil I’ve seen that I still repeat a lot of the same patterns. I still have self destructive tendencies and subliminally I still seem to be intrinsically drawn to the same drama….

        We all are works in progress I suppose and to think that that work is ever fully “done” would be far to optimistic I think. Lol

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      7. I’m sorry to hear that.
        And i agree, we are all a work in progress. That’s a good thing, acknowledging that means youre setting yourself up for tomorrow =)

        Liked by 1 person

      8. You’re far more optimistic than I. I think I’m reaching the point of just accepting it. I am who I am. I like what I like. I am drawn to what I am drawn too. As long as I can stay healthy and happy within those confines then hey….

        But I can allow room for a better tomorrow. If it comes and if it doesn’t. Oh well. Lol

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      9. And yes, thinking were “done” is not optimistic. I think its stupid and not to mention futile =)
        Thinking were done is arrogant and it kinda limits yourself for growth.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes Mistress, definitely both.
    The need to feel loved is universal though, and can be easily found.
    The deeper need- a love like no other, where there is understanding and unconditional love,
    passion and a lifetime of joy…hhhmmm…. we could be hitting unicorn territory here.
    Anything’s possible.
    Honest communication is the key IMHO.
    What are Your feelings Mistress?

    Like

    1. Communication. Yes!! Vitally important to a truly loving union. But that requires being vulnerable, open and honest. Giving of ourselves completely and allowing our significant other to be who they need to be and not who we necessarily want them to be. It is a tall ask. But it is what takes relationships from blaze to extraordinary.

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  5. From blaze to extraordinary- I love this!
    That is a need that I truly need.
    It transcends ‘want’ by a light year or two Mistress.
    Thank You for today’s lesson.
    You are loved.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think Greggy…. when someone meets you exactly where you are in life and brightens up your world a few octaves that just isn’t something you have complete control over. It isn’t something you can fake. But then again. The “36 questions” worked for those people and they were complete strangers. Soooo. Who’s to say?

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    1. I truly, deeply appreciate your friendship. I love the adoration. I mean…. who wouldn’t? Lol

      But I wonder if you’re making me into a dream. We have not met IRL. It’s easy to create people into who you want and need them to be when they are “on paper”.

      But I am just silly little me….. it’s all I can be. Adolatry while extremely flattering can also be anticlimactic. Lol. 😉

      Like

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