Tonight it was not insomnia.
Tonight it was the dog wanting me to let him out at 3:30 and trying to get me to go outside with him; which I refused. Silly boy….and two and a half hours later here we are still. Wide awake.
I have a vision board. On this piece are several images:
One you don’t see in this image is a wedding venue. Beautiful outdoor wedding scene. That image popped in my head this morning and I imagined how I would want that to look and feel in reality.
And in my head it went like this:
Me in either an elegant blood red dress or in my black vinyl leather mini dress. That fluctuated as knowing me I’ll want to change into something comfortable at some point anyway and dance, dance, dance and eat lots of cake.
I walk up to the alter to see my slave there. He is wearing his collar. He kneels awaiting me. He says his vows to me kneeling the entire time. When it comes time to say my vows I stand him up and then……wait for it…..
I kneel before him and promise….
“Your heart is mine to keep, hold, nurture and cherish. Your love is one I will never take for granted. I will be your strength in times of need. I will be your harbor when life gets hard. I will be your champion when you have lost your way. I will be your best friend, your ally, your cheerleader, your confidante, your sex master and also….occasionally……. your sex slave.
While I have already given you all I am and most importantly my entire heart, I know you will keep kindling my love with your devotion. I want you to know that I have loved you since before you were even a thought in the clouds and I will continue to love you long after we are both gone. My love for you runs eternal, ethereal and unconditional from now until the end of time itself, if not longer.”
Being a Dom/me if done correctly is awesome; you get emotionally and physically satiated on levels unparalleled. However to do it right you have to show inordinate amounts of care and concern for your sub. You are just as equally devoted, frankly even if not more so to them, as they are to you. Because you have the power and control. You have the final say. You have the ultimate responsibility.
What you decide must benefit them and satiate them to a depth that maybe they themselves don’t realize in order to make it really work. In order to make it a true win/win….because anything less is simply abuse IMO. Which if consented to is fine, but that isn’t what I am looking for. That isn’t the dynamic I want.
So to me…being a good Domme means not only knowing what I want and making sure I get it, but also making sure my sub gets his needs satisfied…. albeit with me at the helm of that.* There is a beauty to it. There is a grace there. There is a torrential love there. It just comes packaged differently than the standard issue love affair. Lol
* Not all the subs wants satisfied….but all the true needs. Like chastity for example, but maybe not everyone needs that. Lol
I am still learning and so much is subject to change when he finally comes to the party. I am a good compromiser. It’s just that….what I say goes. Really not much more to it than that. That and real, true happy servitude….. not too much to ask. Right?
Maybe it’s time for a new vision board. 😉