Subconscious Love

Healthy people don’t often understand

Deep psychosis


Why a battered woman stays

Or how children that get abused go on to be abused in their adult relationships

Or abuse others

Or how children that have not known true love misbehave to get any semblance of attention

But it’s like the wheelbarrow analogy

The more a wheelbarrow makes a groove in the road the more the wheelbarrow stays in that groove

So our subconscious mind works

The more we are used to a pattern of love

The more it looks for that same pattern

And breaking that cycle is horrendously hard

even more difficult than breaking an addiction

Because an addition you can cognitively understand

You can hit it from many different angles

You can gauge results almost immediately

But the desires of your subconscious mind

What it is not only drawn to

But also draws to itself

Now that…..

That is an entirely different beast

What is a person striving for normalcy to do?

Or is normalcy overrated?

We get the cards we are dealt with

No one gets a say in that

But…. if we turn the table on it’s head

So instead of playing by rules that don’t apply to a convoluted game

We play the game the way that we can win at it

The way that we can truly achieve a win/win

The way that we can be happy

Maybe not in a necessarily “normal & healthy” way, but in a way that satisfies the deep longings of our most deeply hurt selves

And a way that doesn’t cause any (more) true harm

Now that….

That right there may be the real miracle.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

7 thoughts on “Subconscious Love”

  1. My childhood norm was chaos. And more chaos. Those memories remain deep within with me still. If I choose to, I recreate that chaos and live my life in full on butt-hurt mode, blaming others for my pain. I learned that when I accept ‘what was’ AS ‘what is’ and stay out of the outcomes (both my past and my future) a new state of normal begins to take shape. A healthy normal that can replace the feelings of being apart from, disconnected and angry. Life really does get better IF I work at it. Honestly, I hate very few things in my life (liver and cucumbers) but I really really fucking hate the word IF. IF I work…IF you’d only… IF we could… IF. IF. IF. In my opinion it is the second largest two letter word in the English language. Right after pi.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Right after pi”

      Was wondering how you would get that to make sense. Very funny. Accept what was as what is? This sounds like an in depth conversation. I’m not understanding this exactly. Time travel aside. I get the acceptance part but it doesn’t ensure a healthy normal. It just isn’t that easy. Trust me!!!


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