Today I had someone question me about liking feminization and I had to take a moment to question this for myself.
Not so much the why because let’s just go with… why not?… it’s fun.
But the really….
I can think back to middle school when I sat next to a boy who wore jewelry In history class. He had a gold bracelet and when he would twirl and play with it I would zero in on him and not be able to listen to a word the teacher said. I would get so immersed in it, so sexually aroused. I didn’t quite understand it but I knew it was real.
Then I was at a house party of my ex-husbands friends and the friend, a psychologist no less, made it a point that I see a video taken in college of my ex. On it they had just won some basketball championship and were all drunk. He was parading around on the bed with his shirt tucked into itself like a conga dancer and dancing femininely. Dumb me thought nothing of it.
The only thing that enraged me with blind fury was hearing his friends in the video laugh at him and then seeing him almost crying himself to sleep. God I was so clueless. But… I still am really. Sooo…
Then one of my ex-boyfriends last year, before I came out as a Domme, sent me photos of himself in a black bra. Unsolicited. My only reaction was that his face was covered and that bothered me and then it didn’t particularly look great on him. His skin tone, the fit, it was just a bit off, not sexy necessarily but not a turn off. I was clueless still.
He wouldn’t explain why he had taken it and I let it go. I’ve always been very liberal about things and I thought it was cute but didn’t bother to delve deeper. This was a man I had already pegged. We had what was in retrospect my first FLR.
Then cut to right before I was told who I was. The Dom who I was Domme’ing asked me to pick his attire for when I came over. I wanted him to wear the diamond studded collar he kept for women. He refused. I was a bit angered and simply didn’t understand, which he also didn’t clarify, that I was feminizing him. To me it was just how I wanted to see him. It was how I wanted to play.
So then…. the very first person I chatted with on Fetlife was a crossdressing switch. He wore some hot wigs and cute outfits and fucking rocked it. He likes women….. loves women, fucks and likes getting fucked by them, strap on in his exes hand and photo to prove it. Just mouthwatering. I was immediately hooked and realized I was right there all along and just never knew it and I realized for the first time it was ok to like it.
So when I had the chance to dress sweet sissy boy recently I was in heaven. He looked so fucking delicious. I can’t explain what it does to me or why. I just know it does. I like it. Does it really need explanation or evaluation? It isn’t hurting anyone. It’s just a fun and exciting dynamic. Could I drop it today? I suppose; but why? If anything I’m getting pulled/pushed/led/steered or just plain gravitating there even more so and by golly… I like it!!
Sometimes I don’t like analyzing things because it raises more questions than it solves.
I had always just thought that feminine men were gay. Period. And gay men are off limits…… right? So then I learned to disassociate it from my sexual desires. It isn’t necessarily easy to stop liking what you like, trust me….
but then when you’re told hey…. what you like is ok and you can not only have it, but it wants you too.
Well…. IDK. What’s there not to be happy about?