Curiousclitty wrote a great blog about her new poly life. I was enthralled. I have NEVER liked sharing my men. I am possessive beyond any normalcy. I rage when the man I love is even remotely physically or emotionally connected with another woman. Blind, scathing, red lava erupts from my pores and takes anything in its path. Not pretty! It borders psychosis really. Wish I were exaggerating here.
So when I say I want a husband again, a “one and only” I know what I am asking for here. I know the depths of the love I give and I know what I am asking in return. It’s A LOT!! And my life is in a goofy place I haven’t even explained to anyone really. Maybe 2-3 people in the whole world know the deepest truth of my life right now. The difficulties it holds. So to take someone into it…. onto the ride… it is kind of asking a lot.
And then….ad to that so many other factors. So many other possibilities. How do you even get from meeting to marriage again? Last time it was not by my design. It was rather imposed on me by circumstance and a secondary party. This time….. I would want to be ALL IN…….. beginning to end.
Ugghhh. Dreams. Dreams. Dreams. So beautiful. So enchanting. So mesmerizing.
Guess that’s why I keep playing the lotto.
I don’t like dominatriz with a z. I should go back and change it. That would be a pain in the ars. I don’t like pain there. Some do I guess. Me: pleasure yes. Pain… not so much.