Poly, Abstinence, Dating, Marriage, Play, Dominatrix*?

Curiousclitty wrote a great blog about her new poly life. I was enthralled. I have NEVER liked sharing my men. I am possessive beyond any normalcy. I rage when the man I love is even remotely physically or emotionally connected with another woman. Blind, scathing, red lava erupts from my pores and takes anything in its path. Not pretty! It borders psychosis really. Wish I were exaggerating here.

So when I say I want a husband again, a “one and only” I know what I am asking for here. I know the depths of the love I give and I know what I am asking in return. It’s A LOT!! And my life is in a goofy place I haven’t even explained to anyone really. Maybe 2-3 people in the whole world know the deepest truth of my life right now. The difficulties it holds. So to take someone into it…. onto the ride… it is kind of asking a lot.

And then….ad to that so many other factors. So many other possibilities. How do you even get from meeting to marriage again? Last time it was not by my design. It was rather imposed on me by circumstance and a secondary party. This time….. I would want to be ALL IN…….. beginning to end.

Ugghhh. Dreams. Dreams. Dreams. So beautiful. So enchanting. So mesmerizing.

Guess that’s why I keep playing the lotto.


I don’t like dominatriz with a z. I should go back and change it. That would be a pain in the ars. I don’t like pain there. Some do I guess. Me: pleasure yes. Pain… not so much.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

5 thoughts on “Poly, Abstinence, Dating, Marriage, Play, Dominatrix*?”

  1. Lol PG I read that and thought straight away, ‘they’re sharing me!” Lol. I’m actually a lot like yourself I get so rampagingly jealous when I’m in what you’d call a more monogamous type of relationship. I guess right now I can’t fathom having a relationship of that sort. I have too much going on at home with my personal life. None of these men impede on that at all which is great for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. I know exactly what you mean. It makes me sad though. I know both can be great. Right? Get what you need when you need it….even if it has to be multiple parties.
      It makes me sad because my lifelong dream before I even knew what it meant to dream was a singular love like no other. (This is going to take a strange turn….so bear with me). Maybe I suppose I can just have that love affair with God and just go with the fucking flow. Lol. That would be a first. Just enjoying the ride; even if I have to orchestrate it a little. I am after all of the many, many things in my life. The many titles; mom, business owner, land owner, friend, on and on and on….am I not also a Domme. Lol

      Oh my I crack myself up. 💋💋💋

      Learn to love your insomnia.


      1. I totally understand. I thought that I wanted that one true love type of relationship. I probably still do. I guess it’s been such an awakening for me as a sub that it really has helped me open myself up in so many ways. Being with Mr D is amazing but he is also unable to provide or help me meet all my needs. That really led me to figure out what it is I really need that I couldn’t get with him. And that’s how this all started. I won’t give up on him. I am his sub and that connection is very very intense. But I need to connect with others to meet them darn needs. Lol. And I have the same friend as you, Mr Insomnia.

        Liked by 1 person

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