Sometimes when the tide sweeps in
I’m not sure how it will be
Will it caress me softly?
Will it float me on its gentle waves
Rocking me into a lovingly calm sense of peace or
Will it engulf me….
spinning me around dizzily….
Tossing me like a rag doll
I was really looking forward to going to the cross dresser and trans event at the sex club and they cancelled it.
With that and a whole bunch of other crap; I’m feeling a bit defeated right now. I went to my custom tailor to pick up the outfit I was going to wear to my original party,….the one that didn’t happen, remember?
It is a matching see through tube top and mini skirt. It is not my best and sexiest outfit. In fact it actually completely exposes my worst body parts. But…..I was scared and excited to show myself in my entirety*. All the flaws too. All of it.
I was talking to my psychologist about my enjoyment seeing men feminized and even dressed femininely and she gave me the reassurance I was seeking. That it’s ok. I mean yes. I know it is ok in my heart. I champion my own causes, but it’s nice to have reinforcements. Lol
I heard this song for the first time ever on the radio this morning and I’ve been listening to it non-stop. I don’t even know why really. Just feels like the mood of the moment for me.
Ray LaMontagne – Such a Simple Thing
*yes I had originally said I was going to go in my Domme attire. I had a latex mini dress all picked out but the closer it got to the day the more I just wanted to be myself. Not the make-up and shoes so much. This girl does like to represent; sometimes. Lol.
Just that….that’s the point of the event; right? Being yourself. If I can admire then I can also participate. But it has been an odd uphill battle. Couldn’t get ahold of my tailor anyway. Sooo. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe I just need to let this go for now. Ho hum.
I had just said I was going to stop dating and concentrate on events and then this gets cancelled. Maybe I should just take a break from all of it for now. Not like I don’t have better things to do anyway, I suppose.