I don’t want to be idolized.
I want to be cherished.
I want to be adored.
Idolization is what most gay men tend to do to the women they “adore”*
They put them on this glass pedestal
Surrounded by all these expectations
And constant judgement to uphold that perfect ideal
It’s flattering for 5 seconds
Then it’s just a burden
I want to be pampered
I want to be thought of fondly
And doted on
And I’ve been lucky
That sometimes I inspire that in people
From lovers and friends to complete strangers even
And it feels so beautiful
And I am ever grateful
I truly don’t take it for granted
And while I do currently seek to be deeply worshipped by one man
I don’t expect that to come with stipulations
Or any if, but, when’s
I expect it to come unabashed
In full force
With no holds barred
With no restrictions
And I can recognize that that’s not something that most people want asked of them
But then again…..
I don’t want to love just anyone**
Sooooo yea. Lol
*horrible generalization; I know.
**in the sense of being in a relationship; because even though yes I really do try to “love” everyone; in the biblical sense…as much as I can. I mean…. come on…. let’s be realistic though….. there is a reason why the people that have honed this skill and gushed pure love for everyone have become immortalized; Buddha, Jesus, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa, St Francis of Assisi….right? Because this really isn’t the easiest thing to do and then too there are probably hundreds and hundreds more….that have left a true mark on the world that have gone maybe mostly unnoted. I’d be happy to be one of those…assuming I even can be. I hold no aspirations for anything more. Nor do I want or need accolades, ribbons, trophy’s or awards. All I truly want is to leave the world an ever so little, itty-bit, tiny-bit better for my having been on it. Doesn’t seem too much to ask of myself. Does it?