Another Stalker?

I don’t like to write about my ex-husband on here because even though he says he doesn’t read this blog I’m pretty sure he does. I don’t have proof; except for a few odd comments and the fact that he follows all my other social media.

Some of the incidents of staking I can possibly attribute to him. It wouldn’t be a stretch. Some of it though is definitely not him. Two nights ago someone entered my house and left me purposeful signs that they were there; nothing gory or creepy. I heard the footsteps. They were very light though and since this 100 year old beauty creeks so much and I’m pretty positive she has spirits I just disregarded it. I was in the studio downstairs with my mom at the time and I could hear what sounded like a man’s step.

Whoever it was had a key. They made a point to make me aware of it because they locked the deadbolt after they left and left the bottom latch open. I know for a fact I locked both that night. There were also traces of mud from a shoe and a kitchen cabinet left open. Which I did not do. That was it. Harmless right? The house is set-up for an Airbnb so it has nothing personalized in it; none of my things. So I’m really not sure what they were aiming for.

They didn’t use the red room, which would have been my go-to had I broken into someone’s house that had one. Lol

The energy seemed a tiny bit possessive and even a hint angry I would have to say but it’s hard to know for certain. I can easily read a person’s energy in person or in my view but just a gut feeling based on someone that left very little traces of themselves is much harder and I can’t say how accurate I am with it. So really i could be completely off about it. It definitely did not feel like my ex-husbands energy though.

Oddly I wasn’t so much scared of the fact of someone being in my space or breaking in or even having a key. Since technically anyone that rented my house over the last 2 months could have a copy. I was most disturbed from the lack of me understanding the intention behind it and the energy left.

I suppose I should be on high alert……but no. I fought all that morning to brush away any pangs of fear and now it’s more a curiosity then anything else. I’ve been told many times that I don’t see things clearly. I’ve been told I should be careful. Yea yea. I understand. I appreciate the concern. Truly!!

I’m all for safety too, but I’m not for fear. Fear to me is like worry. It’s a wasted emotion….and it literally wastes a person away.

It’s like I tell my children.

“If worrying helped at all I would be the first one to do it for you. In fact we could have a little worrying party and really get into it”. Lol

I feel the exact same about fear. It is not a helpful emotion. Also because I’ve never come across someone who’s heart I could not sense. Never!! It takes some digging sometimes as most people don’t wear it readily out but it’s there.* Like I’ve said before though I don’t want to ever meet anyone that I don’t get that sense from.

Anyway.

My point is…..that

I don’t need stalkers…as I’ve stated before. I don’t even get it really. Stalking has more to do with what’s happening inside that person’s mind then anything else. In other words YES, of course I am fabulous (te he he) but this isn’t about me. I could be anyone. This is about whoever is doing this. If it were truly about me specifically then this would be more personalized. If a stalker truly cared about me they would know me so well; and know my likes and dislikes and then make a point of demonstrating that to me. Show me that their “love” or rather obsession is truly based around me and not some ideal they have formed in their head; some unrealistic fantasy they have created.

Frankly they are just wasting their time and energy unnecessarily and I feel for them. Because wherever they are in life allows them to think this is ok; allows them to feel this is acceptable behavior. It’s not flattering because as I stated above it isn’t about me…the real me; my heart, my needs, my being, my essence.

They could be expending this energy towards something real and not just continuing this unhealthy farce. Then they would be getting something meaningful from it too. I can’t imagine stalking someone being very fulfilling frankly. I would think it would leave one feeling more empty then when they started.

But not like I’ve studied this in depth, it’s more something that has presented itself and I keep having to circumvent or navigate it; rather unwillingly. Because I obviously haven’t been given a choice here.

Ho hum. Maybe they will present themselves in a much more suitable fashion and we can be friends. Who knows? I could use more real friends in my life.

—-

*Not that I always want to expend the energy to find it.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

5 thoughts on “Another Stalker?”

    1. Thank you!! Yes. Being proactive. Bought new locks, making sure my security system (which I took down for the Airbnb) gets out back up and working correctly.

      But I’m not going to worry about it. Who knows. Maybe they’ll make themselves known.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Jesus, this would scare the crap out of me. Get your lock changed. Personal space invasion is not a happy subject for me. If some random Airbnb user has copied your key you have no idea what they want. It could be you or your tv.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol. True. But they took nothing. It was more an “I was here” kind of thing. They wanted me to know. Without knowing the intention it’s hard to know the response. So I will just stay neutral for now. I have gotten locks and I have door guards and I will put in an upgraded security system. But I would much rather they come out of the woodwork and just tell me what they want. Wishful thinking on my part. I refuse to be made a victim though. They can do as they wish. I won’t be made to feel anything I don’t want to feel. For whatever that’s worth. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

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