Conflicted Again – Tinder

I opened a Tinder account and then gave my Fetlife handle on it. I really love Fetlife. I’ve talked to and met some great people from it, but I’m a bit burnt out on all the men just wanting to play. That part gets exhausting. All the guys wanting me to give them of myself and my time for barely anything in return. This is what I told a guy yesterday:

“Honestly. I want a husband. I like family life, but I have a horribly high sexual drive and I’m not all vanilla; as you can see from my photos. In an ideal world I’d like a sub or switch to fall madly in love with. But…..we shall see. All anyone seems to want on here are play partners and so I decided it was in my financial interest to entertain men this way. But hardly anyone wants to pay. Everyone wants me to have sex and/or fulfill their sub desire for free. Like I have nothing better to do and I should feel like it’s my honor to do it.”

I get it. Everyone thinks they are special and that even if they know they aren’t the only one wanting the same thing that because they want it I should be willing to give it to them. Why? Just because they really want it? For my benefit? Because the other 49 guys in line ahead of them weren’t good enough? Because what they have to offer in exchange will make it worth it?

Ugghh. PLEASE!!!!!

I get it. Everyone has an angle. Everyone wants to be satisfied and fulfilled in their own distinct way and the way I like to be in a relationship and play is not the way most women enjoy. A lot of women don’t know or understand the power dynamic of female led sex and relationships. Plus most women definitely do not grasp the huge fun male submission/feminization can be. I totally get it!! But I just get a bit frustrated with all the boys and men offering themselves and sometimes services for play. Please go find someone else to play with!!

I have my own quest. My own needs to fulfill. Sex is easy. Sex and play I can get at the drop of a hat anywhere, anytime. I don’t want just sex. I don’t just want my pussy eaten perfectly. I don’t just want to peg a man. I’m ranting. I don’t mean to be.


This is why I started up on Tinder again*, because I hope to maybe find a man who is very sexual but looking for something of real substance and no I’m not just trying to jump into getting married. You need time to really get to know someone, even in the very intimate and intense FLR dynamic.

Unfortunately though, it makes me feel very vulnerable because I am now soliciting a lot of vanilla judgment and I’m not sure men who have no awareness of this lifestyle would understand me and my intense needs. It would seem like a game maybe; like a minor preference and not a legitimate mode of being in a relationship.

Well…..that’s the chance I take I suppose. Does it matter to the vanilla guy that I’ve never actually taken a Domme job yet? Does it matter to the “sub/sissy/CD” willing to pay that I’ve never charged anyone to play with me before? Lol. Probably. Soo fucking complicated. I just have to laugh at how absurd my life is sometimes…..even to me.

I’m not trying to put anyone off though. I still try to see things from everyone’s point of view and be as kind as I can be. Since kindness costs nothing save patience most times. I’m at least glad my updated Fetlife profile has started putting people off from contacting me because it was all getting a bit ridiculous.

So listen up boys….if any of you are paying close attention. I don’t want to just play. Play (and sex) I can get anywhere, anytime….very, very literally. I have a rolodex full of potential/willing/wanting sex and play partners. I want the real deal. If that isn’t for you….great. No harm, no foul. Leave me alone!!!

Please and thank you. 💋❤️

(Being polite is not overrated.😉)


*I was on Tinder back in November if anyone is keeping track and I enjoyed a lot of great dates but realized it was all too vanilla for me. The only one small adventure that developed was within a very kinky dynamic. Te he he

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

15 thoughts on “Conflicted Again – Tinder”

  1. I’d never have thought of adding my Fet account to my Tinder one. I would never consider looking for a full time relationship on a dating site because there are so many players there. I’d be more likely to use Fet for that because you get a better handle on dynamics on Fet – or at least the semblance of it.

    Tinder profiles are often so vague and I’ve been doing it long enough to know that they are mostly players. That’s fine because I’m only looking for players, I make that clear on my profile and even though that’s the case I still get a ton of timewasters. I’m not sure adding my Fet account wouldn’t add to the problems. I may try it though as an experiment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My only experience with Tinder was last year and I found a lot of very nice and earnestly looking for relationship men.

      But these men are very sexual by default as well and that’s what I need. Soo I resonated best on that app than all the others. However I’m still way too out of the mainstream.

      I harbor hope that the man I am looking for is out there and I’m willing to be creative to find him.

      A much more grand amount of fetlife users only want to play is what I’ve found. So I decided to meld them and see if I can find what I am looking for.


  2. Who the fuck are vanillas to judge sexuality. Don’t judge what you haven’t experienced yet. I don’t have judgement on being a male sub as I have not yet experienced this yet, people need to realize when their opinions are unwanted.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I get it. Play and sex are just that, play and sex. It’s intimacy and trust coupled with sex and play; the ability to open up, drop your guard, bare your soul to another without fear of abuse (mental, emotional or physical) or ridicule or immaturity. I thought I had this with my wife (the fourth and most likely the last), but it’s taken four and a half years for her to not think me gay or bi-sexual because I like things in my ass. I truly hope you find you perfect other, the one you can be Domme to, switch and be the sub for, enjoy vanilla sex, or naughty play. I know that scratches the surface, but I think you quite covered it well here.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. she has learning curves and body curves…real women have curves, right?

        Yes, she finally got it and I got it as well, a big 2.2″ plug that assisted in a right decent deposit. Now, if I can just get her to wear a strap-on again. that may take some time, but I can wait. I’m also looking forward to that 18″ double headed dildo that is 1.25″ in diameter….shoved completely into my ass. Indeed, I like things in my ass.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No I don’t….I like the stretch, pushing my limits, and I love, love, love having her fist in there. she won’t do it anymore because she doesn’t smoke weed anymore and that was the only way she’d do it…high as a kite. Alcohol doesn’t do it for her like weed. So now I use the plug…and I have an inflatable for further stretching. I found that if I pull it part way out and then inflate it, it stretches my asshole out to 2.5″ diameter…or more as I desire. For me, its every bit as euphoric as being drunk, without the hangover. I do love to be tied to the bed, ass in the air, and pegged. It’s also very intimate missionary, gazing into the eyes of my wife as she claims territory that has only ever belonged to her.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I want to stretch right now but work might frown on it. If I won the lotto, there’d be no limit to my desires…and satisfaction. I’d have that perfect tan with no tan lines, my ass stuffed full of something, anything…and my wife squirting as often as she desires. I’d also want to find a cure for her MS, so she can enjoy life again without the limitations.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. This is completely unsolicited and feel free to dismiss it entirely. But…..

        I cured my self of Chrinic Fatigue using the Gerson Therapy and I’ve heard and read that it can cure MS. It’s a very hard and intense protocol. I’m not going to lie and it isn’t for everyone. She should know within 2 months if it’s working.

        Im happy to answer questions. It’s the reason why I entered the field I did as I am so passionate about homeostasis and health and I feel Western Medicine is great at a lot of things but lacks fundamental understanding of the bodies own natural healing capabilities.

        Off my soap box. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Be forwarded there is A LOT of false negative information surrounding it.

        When I was very active on the message boards for Gerson; the only “negative” case I heard about was this person complaining that it was suppose to cure their very terminal cancer and that even though they were grateful to still be alive (years after most everyone else never makes it to) they were angry that it had not cured them….yet…if it ever was going to. I didn’t keep track.

        Liked by 1 person

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