More and more I think A LOT of these type of “mental disorders”* have to do with people’s real or suppressed psychic abilities.
I DO NOT care if anyone calls me crazy is the thing.
When you try. Genuinely try to find the good side to every person, every thing, every situation; NO MATTER WHAT……
yea…it can feel frenetic sometimes. It can feel so beautiful too; really is the thing. Everyone handles that differently. I don’t expect anyone to understand. I really don’t. It’s ok.
*I think it’s a crock of shit really but whatever. No one was asking me about it?
I was in a donut store once. Actually headed into one. Parked. Walking towards the door I had a word stuck in my head. I honestly can’t remember what word; something dumb like potato, let’s say. It wasn’t that. My memory fades some things. I was smiling to myself because why would some silly word lodge in my brain. It was funny to me. So random.* As I walked in I noticed a large crowd. Mostly older white men. Lol
Everyone kept their obligated distance that strangers seem to intuitively want to keep in most parts of the US. (I think). I like it. You get used to it. In the mix was a cute little boy and instantly I knew his energy was off. It was through the roof. He didn’t have to say a word or move much. I could feel it coming towards me at warp speed. I smiled. He was adorable and he said as clear and loud as fucking day “potato” and nothing else and started to fidget.
His father scolded him trying to contain his fidgeting. Trying to control him and I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs “stop it”. I wanted to scold the father but I couldn’t figure out how without sounding crazy. I didn’t have the courage. This haunts me to this day.
I just want to have that courage now. I want to be that example. I don’t care if no one understands.
*when you accept yourself as you are these things don’t seem so odd or uncommon. Connections can be ethereal to me. Feel just like heaven…..and whose connection if not to yourself is the deepest. I want to enjoy that. Whatever that is as it is always presenting itself in the present moment anew. Growing. Evolving. Learning to love again and again.