Up until now I have been completely misunderstanding the concept. These men want to be told these things “you do not deserve my attention”, ” you are not worthy of the air you breath”, “no one will ever truly want you or love you the way you are, you sissy fag” or whatever, etc. etc. Whatever their thing is* because it mimics the thoughts in their head and thereby me saying it validates it for them and they feel satiated and complete. Like it all makes sense for them; that someone finally sees them as they see themselves.
Then there is the forced feminization or pain. They actually want it…truly, deeply down to their essence do but they need it forced onto them. They want it forced onto them so that it isn’t something they are seeking for themselves; because they do not allow themselves that luxury and/or because it also triggers emotional pain.** They have suppressed their desires so deeply that they must be made to do it and then and only then does it feel right.
Now I get it! Now it makes sense. Once I understand the psychology behind it I have the “aha” moment I need. The clarity I desire. I can’t just do things to do them. I mean… I can but there isn’t enjoyment to it***, but once I comprehend it then I can truly relish in it. It moves beyond just a game. It moves to a place I want to drive the bus. Lol. Now I can do this. Now I WANT to do this!!
So in this sense; the sense that I am “allowing” (aka making) someone feel something they deep down to some level want to feel; something that validates a true desire or belief then it becomes almost healing. It reaches a part of them that needs to be seen, that needs to be understood, that needs release. How could that not be good?
Now that right there may just be better than sex. Coming from a nymphomaniac that’s saying something. Lol
**and perhaps me being there with them in that pain is safe. Feels safe.
***especially something that goes against my core nature of compassion and acceptance.