I generally do not get nervous around men: from homeless to super stars. It just doesn’t happen. I hold my own. Maybe because I like myself. Maybe because what’s there to fear? Maybe because I generally command my space well, even in my subtler persona.
I don’t think there is only one reason for this really. I know I have as much value as any other person walking this earth. Then add to that; that respect is mutual and if you aren’t going to give it to me I will not engage. Period! Sooo. What’s there to be nervous about?
But this one got me and he was just a boy; literally. Make no assumptions please. I do not like little boys. They are sweet and adorable but A) not sexually attracted to them and even if so….which is not so….B) hard limit. This young man; maybe 13 was just budding into his sexuality. He wasn’t completely frothy at the mouth, more so extremely boyishly curious.
He was following me around the gym; which again, adorable. We never engaged but once he caught up with me in the steam room I could tell he wanted to and it made me SOO nervous. Don’t ask me why. But he threw me off so much I was almost shaking a little when I went to drape the towel over my body so he could not see me when I got up. Other men I don’t worry soo much about and women even less generally. But him….maybe it’s that I haven’t felt such lust from a man so young since I was that same age and I wanted to respect his boundaries, his innocence, and the situation.
I really just wasn’t sure how to navigate that. Maybe. Not sure. Needs more self-evaluation. But boy was that an interesting and uncomfortable sensation for me. Lol.
You boys are so cute though!!