Burn it Down

I have been feeling a bit off. It was this birthday coupled with feelings of depression and angst. I hadn’t been to the gym in a while (maybe a week) and I desperately needed it.

I went on the treadmill and I did interval sprints until I couldn’t breath. All I could think of….all that kept running through my head was wanting to burn it all down. Wanting all this pain to end.

I kept running and running and running until my heart couldn’t keep up with my head and I had to stop.

It’s an extra long bubble bath night coupled with a heavy dose of THC.

I’m not burning anything down. Don’t worry.

But I am going to use that energy to keep laying the ground work. Doing what I need to do to get to where I need to get to. One way or another. Even if I have to hit the gym daily to keep burning it down in my mind. It’s days like these I wish I had a punching bag.

I was told to get a sub. That’s what they want. That’s what they need. But I don’t do pain for pains sake alone. It has to mean something. He has to mean something….I’m not a monster. I’m actually very loving…just not on the days I want to burn it all down. Today would be a very painful day if I had a sub.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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