This was a bit ago but to this day I can not stop grinning like a little kid on the way to the ice cream parlor.
I had just gotten out of a devastating break-up. One of those stupidly painful ones. The kind you don’t know if you’ll ever crawl your way out of that deep dark pit from.
I was a good clip out of that and feeling decent not back to my 100% but overall pretty good. At the fair it occurred to me to have a custom license plate made. They’re dirt cheap there and I LOVE the fair. I always like to buy something to remember from it.
My custom license plate said
“Single & Loving it!”
And I owned it. Every ounce of it. I mean. I kind of had to. It was on my car in public display. Lol
So one day on the drive home from work this car next to me (passenger side) is trying to catch my attention. I look briefly to find a dark haired beauty of a specimen of a man smiling at me. My age. Nice car. It’s LA. Even I used to look. Not that it impressed me but in LA a car does gauge the person fairly accurately…in more than half the cases.
So anyway. He smiles. I smile. He waves. I wave. He motions for me to pull off. He supplicates with his hands. Hmmmmmmm
I was intrigued. What was he thinking of saying to me? What was he going to do?
I motioned yes and I led us to a parking lot off the freeway. I got out and he rushes to my side. Not trying to scare me just falling over himself in excitement. It was rather cute.
He looked at me and we struck up an easy conversation. Don’t ask me what we talked about. Less than 10 minutes into the conversation he kisses me. It was nice. We kissed an appropriately long amount of time. A few minutes. Considering I don’t even know this person. Te he he.
And as soon as our lips disengaged he fell to his knees before me. I had a visceral reaction of startlement and he apologized. He said he had never felt anything like that before. To which I couldn’t roll my eyes because he was just so purely earnest about it. But I could honestly say nothing. I was confused really. What does one say?
Now….all this time later. I can own that space so much better and growing into it more and more. To fulfill this I do need a playmate though. One of my choosing: of course. Don’t put words in my mouth. I hate that!! So many things guys in my head. I feel a huge rush of energy. This is new to me. I feel the energy. Like a thumping. I can’t explain. But I feel you there. All of you.
Anyway. Look. Everyone gets to chose. Right? And unfortunately it doesn’t mean it’s mutual or that it can work. I’ve fallen down that rabbit hole too. I think we all have. It sucks. Yea.
Not to say you shouldn’t try. Anything worth having requires a tiny bit of work and effort. Some of your greatest achievements didn’t just fall in your lap. Right? Anyway. Mine didn’t. Usually. Still don’t. I work my ass off. (Thinking of work and friendship and even love). And I’ve hit A LOT of doors. One literally slammed in my face (old boss). Anyway.
Honesty – Billy Joel. I’m listening to that right now. Gonna dip my head in the water. (Maybe goodnight)
So we both had places to go. That’s why we were driving in the first place. Right? Lol
We exchanged numbers. He asked me several times if it was really my number. Yes yes. Pre-cell. I know. The dinosaurs and I had a blast. 😝
I knew as soon as I got home something was a little off with him but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It wasn’t nefarious whatever it was. I knew that much.
Very soon he called as I assumed he would. And the very first thing out of my mouth was “are you married?” Having gone through that badness there was no way I was going down that beaten to death path. He stalled and hemmed and finally admitted he lived with a girlfriend.
“But I don’t love her. But or relationship is on the rocks. But……”. I hung up with him within less than a minute. He kept calling. Until finally he stopped. I had to stop answering my phone completely though. (No caller ID for those that wouldn’t understand why. Lol)
From my generation to my youngest child so much has progressed. Science. Technology. And yet the world is just as fucked up if not more than ever really. And if anyone thinks they can possibly contradict me I want them to go look at the Texas sizes island of plastic floating in the (Atlantic? Sea). Cockroaches that we are on this beautiful planet.
Oh sorry. Did I offend anyone? Lol
I know. I just called myself a cockroach. And I HATE cockroaches. Although have you seen the viral video of the pet cockroach? Crazy. Making a cockroach kind of cute. Which is a total brain-spin for me.
Why not? Just don’t expect me to have any pet cockroaches. I only collect angels. 😉