Soooooo. I can only hope what Blake says is true and that for every Domme in the Portland area there are approx 2000 subs. I see several issues with my exact situation though.
The most important being that I like to switch and peg. The other being that I have almost no experience in the Domme arena other than pegging and my natural bossy, bratty and bold tendencies. Not to mention the minimal and somewhat incorrect training I got from the previously talked about party (which he himself expressed).
I love all the things a Domme can and should do within the confines of a FLR but I don’t know if I can pull it off 24/7, not because I don’t tremendously enjoy being pampered and not because I don’t necesitate being in control*, but because sometimes I have an absolute need to switch. ** I also have an uncompromising need to be able to turn off my brain and just go with the flow, which I revert back to letting the man take control or just needing space to myself.
I have an ad on fetlife. A personal ad. I let Blake write it for me based on my requests. It has attracted some interesting characters, including a few curious and more docile seeming Dominants; and some curious and oh so willing to please in any capacity subs, including topping. I have one viable candidate so far…a Dom.
We’ll see. I’m not jaded as much as apprehensive. He has never been a submissive. He does not understand the play structure. He does not address me properly nor put forth great effort to make me feel cherished. You would think, as a vanilla or Dom might, that this is an earned value but then you miss the entire premise of the game.
It is after all a game. No less serious than the game of work, the game of sports, the game of…(ad whatever passion you can think of here). It is a rather serious matter because it can lead to a place of magical realizations. Hard to explain. You don’t know until you know…and that isn’t until you try it first hand really. Maybe this needs further explaining to someone who hasn’t quite wrapped their head around the dynamic of a D/s relationship; which maybe I can do another time if anyone desires. I am no expert in this field by any means though, I’m just a quick study. Lol
So anyway…..he has started off rather incorrectly already. Hmmmmmmm. I’m a little conflicted. I do enjoy putting men through some hoops and he has passed the initial ones so far. If he keeps meeting those vanilla (to me) standards, which really Dominant men find off-putting then I think I will meet him. Why?
Because you never know exactly when a casual meeting turns into a (hopefully lifelong) torrentially passionate love affair. Now do you? If we all knew that maybe we wouldn’t have half the societal problems experienced.*** But would we have as much fun as we sometimes do now, trying to find it? Hmmmmmmmm
That’s too deep of the question for my level of exhaustion.
Goodnight my sweet little deviant pets.
* (with an actual severe aversion, most of the time, to being told what to do****) but
**Maybe this could stem from an overwhelming desire to please and make happy those I love. But
***I don’t want to go into a deep philosophical monologue here about how we are sex/love driven creatures that do almost everything we do in life for one and/or the other. It seems rather commonly understood to me anyway. No?
****not of course if it’s done lovingly, with my best intentions at heart, preferably explained to me to my comprehension in a gracious manner. Lol. Is that too much to ask?