I’ve had all I can take. This is ridiculous! For whatever reason right now I am not in a relationship. I accept it; begrudgingly. But I’m tired of wasting all this energy thinking about it. The most difficult part of this will be finding an outlet for my sexual energy. I’ve slated two work out sessions tomorrow to try and combat that and I think I’ll break out the new vibrator soon.
If that means I have to listen to classical or polka or even songs from dialects I don’t understand that would be better than this constant love song barrage. If I didn’t constantly have music on that would be another story maybe but I literally listen to music all day long so really. The obsession is real. Plus and I can’t stress this point enough; the person I’m meant to be with isn’t here with me now; so how am I to know what love songs he will inspire me to gravitate towards. Hopefully the most passionate, deep and heartfelt ones ever made; but we aren’t at that stage of the game.
So… this isn’t meant to be a one person act. I don’t want to orchestrate the entire thing. I want to be overwhelmed. I want lightening to strike. I want it to all be really rather effortlessly beautiful. Is that too much to ask? No idea. Maybe it is.
For now we’ll cut out the love sonnets and focus on just having fun and getting to where I want to go or think I want to go. I’m still a work in progress. I’m okay with that. I have all my life to live it and I refuse to become complacent with it or latch on to things I don’t believe in. I only get one turn on this merry-go-round. Saddle up! It’s fun and madness and real and raw and I love it all!!!…
& thank God for bubble baths too!!!