“Hold you in my Arms” – Ray LaMontagne

My eldest says the songs I listen to are sad. They aren’t. Not all of them. I have my dance track, my workout track, my morning track, 80’s punk, country, techno, on and on…but I also have songs like this that I’m listening to now…that yes I suppose are a bit sad. Admittedly.

“It takes a lot to Know a Man” – Damien Rice

“Let it be me” – another Ray song


So I’m going to come clean here. I’ve had over a dozen calls and that doesn’t even count the repeat calls for the escort service website I set-up. Each time I’ve literally been standing by my phone and I just watch it ring. A few times I texted back a hi. Twice I actually picked up (I know. I can’t believe it myself). Once was an acquaintances that had lost my cell number. Once I got hung up on. I answered out of curiosity really. Like “who are you?” “What are you about?” “What is it you are really needing in life?” because I’m pretty sure it’s not really an escort or Domme. Lol. Or even sex (which I wouldn’t do anyway).

I’m not even sure why I even have it up still. Part of me hopes maybe Club Privata will give me a job paying as an MC and more burlesque type activities and lots of games. Wouldn’t that be fun? Lol. Don’t get me wrong. I’m applying for county jobs too, not sure how I’m going to pass the drug tests when we get there…it’s going to be a challenge staying off RSO a few weeks.

It’s the exact same thing as taking someone off anxiety meds. For me at least; it’s mostly medical and partially spiritual. Since I’ve never had pot with anyone really I can’t say it’s for fun. I only ever do it right before my bubble bath and then right to bed or after the kids are asleep. Maybe one day I will be able to say it’s for fun though.


I’m feeling so all alone in the world. When things aren’t especially good I tend to bury my head in my shell like a tortoise and isolate myself more than my standard hermit like (at times) behavior. Not that I even have that many friends or all that supportive of a family to begin with & I’ve even avoided all their calls lately.

Not sure what it in store for me. I suppose no one ever knows. The next corner holds a mystery for us all. It’s the crux and beauty of life. Isn’t it?

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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