I was 16. I was so obsessed with him. I can’t remember if he was 4 or 8 years older than me. Either way he was obviously much more experienced sexually. We would go for hours. He made it feel like his whole life’s purpose was to give me pleasure. I experienced my first multiple orgasm with him. I remember one time after a lengthy motel session being so engorged I couldn’t even walk. I had to soak in the bathtub just to get the swelling to go down. I have a physical reminder of that night to this day.
I didn’t know until years later that he had also been seeing a gorgeous aspiring model the entire time we were together. He showed me her photo. It was dated the same time period we were together. Im not sure why he was still seeking me out and telling me this years later. I found it unnecessarily hurtful but it did clarify a few things.
I’ll never forget his eyes. They sloped down at the outer ends and gave him this touching sadness. His soul mirrored that sadness. He was already jaded and emotionally unavailable, but he was a lot of fun too.
I also remember him twice taking me to meet “a friend” and leaving me with them. These were both much older men. I would just converse with them and wait for Louis to come back. In retrospect I’m not sure what his intentions were with that. I’m genuinely unsure, but the men never touched me or even insinuated touching me. They, like most men thankfully, were kind to me. Louis would come back and get me and we would leave as if nothing.
I trusted him implicitly and because of this I never questioned this or him. The funny part of that is that I still carry a lot of that naïveté. I trust my gut and because of that faith it’s let me stay open to things, to life and to interesting experiences. I’m happy about that.