Sex Addict

I’m the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. This is truly monumental. If you knew me you’d absolutely agree and even hold a parade to mark this impressive feat. Jk. No, no. Hold your applause. Please! I insist. The parade can come later. 😉 lol

Truly though. I feel blessed beyond belief and I couldn’t be happier with who I am as a person and what my life is like on many levels. Now if my finances would fall in line and my relationship status would change to “not available” things would be absolutely phenomenal. I recognize though that of these two faltering areas one is detrimental and one is optional. Except to me both truly are necessary, albeit one has much more pressing immediacy than the other.

But I do so very much miss sex.

Can you be addicted to something you don’t indulge in? I suppose that’s what recovering addicts live with on a daily basis. If so, then I am very much addicted to sex. I absolutely need it. Like water, air, food, shelter. Frankly, I’d rate it above clothes if it didn’t get so cold all the time here.

Sex is absolutely vital to me. It gives me comfort, touch, emotional satisfaction, stress release, passion, pleasure, excitement, fun and happiness. How many things do you know of that (theoretically) don’t cost a penny and provide so many check marks? Now granted all these things only come if A) I really want to have sex with this person and/or B) I really love this person. Otherwise sex with just anyone may only fill one or two of the boxes but definitely not all.

So I guess I’m admitting that there has to be a connection on some level. I mean I’ve once heard of someone having an awesome one night stand and I want to believe it, but chances are that at least one person in that party was faking it a little. I’m theorizing this of course and since I’ve never had it actually happen to me I can’t say for sure. Anyone I ever had really good sex with we kept going with it. Maybe not into a “relationship”, but we didn’t cut it at just one night.

Ho hum. Thinking about sex only makes me want it even more. I suppose they do have sex addiction meetings. I wonder how many people hook up for sex at them. That’s intriguing. I’d definitely go check that out if that were the case. Not to partake of course but to see the action behind the scenes of the main storyline. Often times those are far more entertaining. Lol

I probably sound like some big pervy voyeur but truthfully I’ve just graduated from device based pornography to wanting to see the drama of human sexuality play out in real life. Of course it isn’t in the comfort of wherever I happen to be and there isn’t as much anonymity to it. So there is that. But alas everything has its pluses and minuses. Right?

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

2 thoughts on “Sex Addict”

  1. Hey…glad I found your blog. You’re a damn good writer. And like me, you’ll probably find people read your blog, but few follow because they don’t want to be labeled as someone who follows a blog with “porn” in the title.
    To answer your question, a woman at a Sex Addicts Anonymous or Sexaholics Anonymous meeting is a rare bird. I’m sure you could hook up with plenty of men. I’ve seen lots of drug dealers outside of Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Same principle. But you would also be derailing somebody else’s sobriety, and that’s not cool.
    I’m not a doctor or psychologist, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I’ve been around a lot of sex addicts. I don’t know exactly how it fits into the rest of your life, which is a key part of addiction, but based on what I read going through your posts here, I don’t think you’re on the wrong track believing that you are.
    Be careful of going cold turkey. Sex addiction is not like drug addiction. There is no healthy heroin use. With sex addiction, people are told total abstinence is not the healthy way to go. I’ve met them as well. They’re no more healthy than the person who has to have sex 5 times a day. It’s about figuring out what your unhealthy behaviors are and what your healthy ones are and focusing on the healthy. Being a sex addict is like having an eating disorder. Recovery isn’t removing it from your life, its about developing a healthy relationship with it.
    As I said though, I’m no doctor. I only have my own experiences and those of the people I know who are also struggling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Joshua,

      Interesting observations. You don’t need to preface it with the non-doctor bit. I’ve learned some of the most valuable lessons from people “in the trenches”.

      Welcome to a tiny part of my world. I appreciate the commentary. Truly. I am not really looking for followers. If they come and enjoy great. In an ideal world I would love to make a living off of writing, but so would a million other people. Lol

      As far as the SA meetings. I don’t really want to go. Primarily because I have this deep almost compulsive desire for self-sufficiency and the term of “addict” just doesn’t sit well with me beyond merely for recreational purposes (as opposed to medical..like pot…get it? 😂).

      That said…I can admit that I do like sex a wee bit more than most folks seem to, but maybe I’m not ready to look that demon in the face just yet. I know I can be happily faithful. I know I can abstain. So truly I don’t see a real issue.

      Abstinence is not healthy? Hmmmmm. Well. It’s not like I’m talking forever here. I hope to have my finances regulated by April at which point I will sign up for whatever app dating service strikes me as least loathsome and go forth trying to find a “boyfriend” or as I like to really call it in my head “a man that is exclusively mine to fuck as much as absolutely possible”. Lol.

      I don’t see myself as struggling per se as much as just yearning. One feels negative and one feels bearable. I’m at a point in life where I’m learning to accept myself fully as I am, while still working on the parts that I think could use a little tweaking maybe. There is always room for improvement, but starting from a place of love for what’s there already seems to be key…for me at least.

      I embrace who I am. I am not for everyone…but one day I will find the right one. Until then abstinence isn’t the worst thing. At least I don’t see it that way. It’s taken me a long time to get here and I can honestly say I’m pretty happy and okay with it. Which is a great place to be. Don’t you think?

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s