In my younger days I wished there had been a way to hire a healthy straight Adonis to fuck the life out of me. I would have gladly paid to just get a fulfilling fix when I wanted it.
Now it doesn’t cross my mind anymore to pay for sex, but that’s not to say that sex itself doesn’t cross my mind. It is an almost constant. Not a day goes by I don’t deeply crave the intimacy and/or release and/or pleasure and yet…here I am abstaining.
I get hit on. I get propositioned at the sex club multiple times generally. I have a rolodex of men on my phone happy to acquiesce given a chance. Yet here I remain…longing.
Hoping that the wait will be worth the sacrifice, because this time around I want it all. While a lover has suited me in the past they were generally men I didn’t really care for and would never pass the threshold beyond just sex and they suited that end perfectly well.
Now I am waiting for my best friend. I am waiting not for a savior or man in shining armour but a fellow human being full of nuances and vulnerabilities just like everyone else. I want my playmate that I can start crossing things off my sexual bucket list with: threesome, orgy, sex swing, on and on…yes please.
So I wait in what will be the closest equivalency to virginity a man my age range can hope for….chaste for a good cause. I want to unleash myself on one deserving man. A man who I can give my heart and body to and will cherish me deeply for everything I encompass. The good, the bad and the deviant.
Can I get an Amen? 😉