I went on Buzzfeed again and took a silly, interior design, personality quiz and it tagged me as pretentious. I would scoff, but I’ve been called that term more times than I’d like to admit to. Which really makes little sense to me.
The definition of pretentious is: characterized by assumption of dignity or importance, especially when exaggerated or undeserved: self-important. Making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious. Full of pretense or pretension; having no factual basis; false.
But I am not self-important. I am not trying to make a show or impress anyone. I may exaggerate every so often but that’s just to make a story better and it’s not about important things. I think I have always just valued my own opinion, even when I didn’t give it. And even as a kid there was always someone in my orbit to spoil me a bit, or make me feel special and appreciated.
My Mexican cousins used to call me a Fresa when we were young. Fresa’s are usually stuck up, have expensive clothes, cars, are usually middle high or high class, and talk different than everyone else. But I never thought that was accurate either. Sure I sometimes talk like a valley girl but that doesn’t make me a snob.
I mean yes I like nice things. But they aren’t a make all, break all for me. I can do without and I usually do. I enjoy playing the part of enjoying a lavish lifestyle, but I also know very well what it’s like to be starving and homeless. So, I know I can get by without most things in this world.
I don’t know how to stop behaving pretentiously because I’m not sure exactly what part of my persona gives that impression. Is it the way I carry myself? The way I talk?
I never, not for one moment, think I am better than any other human being walking this earth, but conversely I also don’t think myself less than anyone else either. We all have our plusses and minuses. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I do not have a superiority complex. But I also don’t cower to people, no matter what their status or who they think they are.
I do have an ego. I can be stubborn and opinionated. I enjoy having expectations. I enjoy putting my needs first in the world and then helping whoever I can along the way.
I’m truly not sure how I give this off. I find it interesting that I’ve had so many labels put on me my entire life and this one seems to be one I can not shake. But that’s others perception. And while I could change myself, I could analyze this and shift my behavior. It isn’t something I’d be doing for myself. Because I know me. I love me. Me is not truly a pretentious person. I guess I just appear so at times.
But oh well…..
We all have our things. 😂