New World Order (I’m just going to rant)

We live in a racist, sexist, homophobic, status driven, materialistic (and more) world. Right?

I often talk about these issues. I talk about politics and war and human rights.

I talk about how people should stay in their countries and decide whether their rights are worth dying for or if their current form of enslavement and “freedoms” is enough for them. They should not, if at all possible, leave. Yet….

Black people didn’t have this choice. They were forced to leave, brought to a “new world” and left with no country (so to say). The Mexicans that owned land in southern and western parts of the US where killed for their lands. And we all know what happened to the native Americans.

Life is not fair to those on the wrong side of any power dynamic, generally. And it isn’t simply because money and power hungry people, the kind that typically lead armadas are not the most benevolent of people in the first place. It isn’t solely because they have some false sense of entitlement or superiority. It isn’t because they are too stupid to see that what negatively affects any part of the world and it’s inhabitants, affects us all…. eventually.

It is also because we humans can be very cowardly. It is our mortality and fear that makes us bow to those we know we should not be appeasing.

I am not trying to start a war. I’m not trying to incite anger. I’m simply trying to state what I consider the truth. Something many people seem unfamiliar or uncomfortable with.

I personally have no issue with One World Order. I find it hysterical how both the left and the right fear this “demonic” entity equally, as if it represented the boogie man to both. As if it were the end of all ends. I find it really rather fanciful that they both fear the same nomenclature, even though they each attribute each other’s worst agendas to it. It truly does make me laugh.

I wish we did live in a world that could have One World Order. The way I see it is……like neighbor’s under one HOA and with the same access to utilities and use of emergency services. Whether desired or not, all paying into the system and abiding it’s basic and simple tenants.

While everyone does whatever they want within the confines of their own territory. As long as their rules operate under the same basic humanitarian goals. So in other words:

One military

One banking system (money)

One aeronautic system

All resources shared

Everyone gets a basic living wage

And basic healthcare

And access to clean water




It’s a Utopia that will never exist in my lifetime or on this planet. I see the world ending with nuclear war between the big dick idiots and their empty pissing contests first frankly. That seems much more likely to happen.

Honestly, I’m done caring about it and politics in general. To me it all seems a fable. Let me distract you for a bit. We’ll move the pendulum this way….watch the uproar from the other side (audience laughter here). Then when that gets old or starts to create too much drama we will swing it the other way (look laughter from the other side).

If that doesn’t work we will cause chaos and destruction through war. Because the powers that be don’t give a fuck. They aren’t getting guillotined. They escape it all. Don’t they? Sure one takes the fall here and there. Like Epstein has recently. But overall they get away with it and life goes on.

Because that’s what money, power, priviledge and connections are suppose to do. Isn’t that why everyone wants them? Who wants to suffer? Who wants consequences for their actions? Who wants to be limited by their circumstances in life? Who wants poverty and hard work and sacrifice for nothing or not much of anything at all? Who wants to barely grind out a living? Who????

Show of hands please.

I just want to be happy within myself and none of that crap (money, power, priviledge, status, people you know, etc.) none of that shit guarantees inner happiness. Thank fucking God for that much or most of us would be screwed.

But also what I want…that I’ve wanted my entire life….that which I’ve strived and pushed for, within myself at the very least, and hope beyond hope to find in this life… truth.

The truth shall set us free. Don’t quote me. A book I read said it better. 😉😝🤣

Jews Rock (*updated)

I have had Jewish bosses and friends. They always treated me with honesty and respect. They were good people. It’s a small point of reference. I’m not talking about thousands of people. But I don’t have anything against them at all. Nothing.

I saw this this morning and thought….

(The protesters were a Jewish group.)

What if the Jews had not been allowed into this country after and during Hitler because they had nothing and could not “stand on their own feet”?

People will say “that was different”. Was it? Is it? Sure. It isn’t a World War, but these people risking absolutely everything to come into this country aren’t coming because they heard we had great sweet tea. They are leaving abject poverty, war savages areas, cartel areas where people are murdered for land and made to be slaves. They are not casually strolling over for Jamba Juice.

I dare anyone to make a foot trek with no money or food 3,000 miles with kids in tow because they have NO OTHER OPTIONS of survival. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must be like. I really can’t. Then to not even be able to get in.

Maybe if the US lived in a little bubble where nothing it did affected anyone else. But who do we think those drugs are for? What country has destabilized the most economies around the globe in this modern day? Take a guess. The US isn’t the world military power it is with stations on almost every part of this globe for no reason and for no benefit.

I get that it’s a giant game of war for these people in power but someone has to pay the consequences of their games. So far it always seems to be the little people, the every day people of the world. The average citizen and it’s youth sent to play these wars. I have yet to see differently.


*I’m not trying to be anti US. I love this country, but I love the world more. I’m just trying to be honest. These people and countries in power…’s all transitory. If it wasn’t the US it would be someone else. It means little to me who it is. I just like to live in reality. I like as much as possible to see the truth of a situation.

Which is why I go out of the way to try and see all sides of something before I decide how I feel about it. I try to truly look with an open heart and mind at all views.

I try to put myself in other people’s shoes as much as possible. It’s always the most beautiful and painful, powerfully haunting and yet so rewarding experiences one can have in this world. Truly communing with other human beings. I wish we were taught this skill. Now that alone could possibly save this world.

The old man

I was probably around 10. I had been playing with my dad’s live in girlfriend’s daughter in the front of the house. She was a few years younger and did not speak much English. We were doing summersaults on the grass and playing hopscotch. Standard little girl games.

The next door neighbor, this older man, was on his porch. His wife was in and out. He called us over. I went up to his porch but kept my distance a bit. I had never been formally introduced, although I’m quite sure he knew who we were. He asked if we wanted candy and told us to come in the house to show him our butts.

My playmate asked me what he said. Once I translated it she immediately ran back to the house and I followed behind her. I told my father what happened and he got so angry with me. He accused me of lying but he also forbid us from playing outside anymore. Which as a hyper little girl was the worst punishment possible. I was so angry. I didn’t understand. I did nothing wrong. Why was I being punished?

Years later as an adult talking with my dad over some drinks he asks me if I remember that old man. I said yes, but refrained from bringing up that memory. He said “I saved that man’s life”. My jaw dropped to the floor. He went on to explain that when he first moved into the house he was outside working on his yard and saw through the chain link fence that the man had fallen and was laying on the ground motionless.

My father ran over and got his wife. She called 911, my father stayed with him until the ambulance came.

Then I understood. Why he had not wanted to believe me. I understood why he was so angered.

My parents have both suffered so much discrimination and hardship in this country because of their ethnicity and/or color. Truly it’s amazing they did as well as they did. That is a true testament to the “American dream”, even if it is 10 times harder for the disenfranchised (whether they be by gender, race, social status, wealth, skin, sexuality or whatever).


I remember asking my mom why she liked living in Mission Viejo and other upper class white neighborhoods that had hardly any ethnic people.

I remember a pointed conversation when we were having dinner out and I said “you realize we are the only people of color here besides the workers. That doesn’t bother you? You actually enjoy this?”. My views may be skewed. But I’ve always loved diversity. I have always loved learning about different cultures and people. All of one kind, of any kind, is not my preference.

I think we are so much better together. Every culture has something of value to add to the mix of our planet.


The teachers at the reiki ranch told me that a shift was happening in the world on a grand scale and people are awakening and I laughed a bit. I said “yea, I doubt I’ll see that in my lifetime” and she looked at me in complete seriousness and said “as soon as next year”.

“Yea, I wish” I said and then I really laughed. People often think I’m making fun of them when I do this sort of thing. I’m absolutely not.

It’s a comforting thought. That in a year there can be such a huge shift to right wrongs and make this world truly, mutually beneficially for all to cohabitate and live symbiotically and also with nature and reverence for mother Earth. I’m sorry. As beautiful and as much as I wish it were so…….I just am not sure I see it happening so soon, if ever at all.

—-(so yea)

I think the powers that be would rather end the world through nuclear devastation than give up power and control. Sometimes it makes me almost hope it all destabilizes. I mean only if it meant it would be restructured better. But as much as I love this place; I just don’t know that humans are capable of such a noble and selfless endeavor. I am not sure I have that belief. And it’s that thought that makes me shrug my shoulders and just let whatever happens happens sometimes. I just can’t be bothered to care about everything so, so much that it keeps me up at night….. especially about something we are all so complicit in.

The reason being

I have such a hard time taking much in life serious because I can see through the stupidity of it all. I can see the games we all play and the masks we all wear. It’s still fun to play sometimes but knowing it’s all a farce, that it’s all make-believe; knowing the idiocies of society and that the roles we play mean so very little. Being able to see the grand picture beyond the picture presented makes me give much less of a shit about most things.

There are still things I greatly value and admire and beliefs I hold tight to for my own stability and wellness. There are things I care about outside of myself; the world, its inhabitants.


Last night Donna and I were talking about sales. She’s a real estate agent so she does cold calls and soliciting of work from people. I was remembering having sales jobs and being hired at those two car dealerships I never ended up working at. I’m good at sales but not because I’m a good salesperson per say but simply because I genuinely like people and find most everyone has something interesting about them.

She suggested I start calling my old clients. I was thinking maybe a survey would be more in order. Like what did I do wrong? What did I do right? I can handle some constructive criticism, even if they might be things I can’t necessarily change. But that’s more work and I can’t stretch myself anymore than I am already.

Last night I also said “I hate people”. Donna made me repeat it, she was so shocked I said it. It absolutely isn’t true. I don’t know why I even said it. I don’t at all. I am just frustrated and I have no one person or thing to blame entirely. There have been villains at at every stage but they are more complex and dynamic than your average movie character ones and they can’t take all the blame for this situation.

Then she asked me if I was on anti-depressants. I laughed too hard. I’m an ass. I just hate scripts. This is a transitory issue. I know why I’m depressed. As soon as this blip roles by I’ll be back to myself. I’m fine. I’m not in any jeopordy of hurting anyone. I’m getting my shit handled. All the balls are in the air and I feel pretty ok all things considered. Maybe on the tired and a bit less hungry side, but I blame the parasite protocol for some of that.


But it all got me to thinking about what I could do now to improve my life, even if just the mental health side.

I did my prayer for the departed last night. And as soon as I was done. Like lightening bolts the thoughts came into my head. “You believe in God?’ the thought asked. I replied “of course, wholeheartedly”. “You believe in Divinity?” It then asked. “Yes, of course, more than I believe in most things.” “You have complete faith in these?” it kept at me. “Yes!” I said. “Define them.”

Divinity is like Heaven. It is the all, everywhere, through all space and time, the pulsing energy that is everything and nothing, where there are no illusions of time and matter.

God is the representation of that source energy here. Half of the equation of the good/evil battle in this reality.

“Ok. Do you have that same faith in yourself?” came the next question throwing me off guard. We both knew the answer. No need to even say it aloud.

I guess maybe it’s my time to define myself. Obviously not through all of space and time. I don’t have the exact complete understanding of that yet, except that I came from that Divinity and hope to go back to it again. But here, now…….who am I?

That’s so heady and existential. I know who I am pragmatically. I can relay all the stats fairly accurately.

I just really don’t know what I’m meant to be doing here. I don’t consider myself an expert on anything. I don’t pretend to be, like I see people do and get away with and people applaud and cheer for them and I’m like “what in the world?”. Pretending and lying really seems to pay off on this planet, sadly. And I can’t be that. I can’t do that.

I do sometimes know what I know for reasons I can’t always explain, just like I feel what I feel and I also can’t always explain it because I know I pick up emotions that aren’t mine, just like I pick up pain that isn’t mine, and ideas that seem to come out of thin air…. literally. Not to say I’m always right. God no.


I need to define myself and even more importantly I need to have faith in myself. I don’t value success the way most people do, but I still have to live in this world. I really want to see this thing through and I want to do it my way. The only way that makes sense to my heart. Come what may. That is what having faith in myself means to me and that is what I must do every moment I can to make this somehow truly count.

Tired of talking about my problems

God I’m so sick of it. I’ve told 3 people about my problems in the last few days and I feel worse for it. Talking about it just stirs it all up, gets me all emotional. It’s been a lot….. way to much.

I need to step away from it all. It’s not a need to bury my head in the sand. It’s my need to focus on the positive, on what I can do, on what I can be grateful for, on what makes me and my life happy.

I just can’t go around complaining and explaining it and not feel the intense pain of it. I can’t. I’m human. This shit hurts. I’m not a robot. I’m not a machine. Flesh and blood like all y’all. I wasn’t spared any of it. This epoch has been challenging… challenging. I’m dealing with it the best way I can, but I can’t keep talking about it.

I’d rather not. I’m all fucking talked and cried out at the moment. We will pause for an intermission now. Cue the tranquil music, turn on the lights, let’s stretch out our legs and get a cool beverage. Let’s watch the stars and enjoy the fresh air and listen to the kids laughing while they play. Life is too fucking short to wallow.

I get that people want to know, but I’m officially done sharing it. We are moving on people. You hear me……

Moving on!!

Vaccine Propaganda / let’s right our wrongs….shan’t we?

Why do we hear these stories in the news……


but you rarely hear stories of people dying of vaccine exposure. Yet, it absolutely happens!!

We are creating superdiseases now with these vaccines. Both these women had been vaccinated. I feel like I’m screaming into an echo chamber. No one is actually listening.

I hate this world sometimes.

But I’m not ready to give up on it and I’m definitely not ready to give up on myself and my children.

Like it or not I’m here and I’m going to make the best of this shit show. Maybe I can’t turn this world around. Maybe I can’t right all the wrongs. But I can figure out my own shit in my head and right those wrongs. At least that I can do. I’ll take it. But that doesn’t mean you’re all off the hook. It doesn’t have to be me though. Thankfully. Not my job! Karma do your thing.

Along those lines………

I went and had drinks with a cool neighbor yesterday and she said “life keeps the shitheads around longer because it keeps wanting to give them time and opportunities to right their wrongs before they die. The idiots just don’t fucking get that.”. I may have paraphrased a little, but that was the gist of it and it felt really quite an accurate assessment.


Hello??? (echo, echo, echo)🙄


Focusing on good. Calling goodness and ease to me, mine, my world, this planet. We are all so very deeply interconnected.


The sun is out.

It’s a beautiful day.

I’ll start there……..

Come out, come out wherever you are.